Spritual Awakening

One of the things that I have learned out of the many bumps and bruises of starting to awaken and learn, is that it is not all smooth sailing. I think many of us have this fantasy of peace that comes when you finely open your eyes and see the light. The truth is that you only began to get small glimpses of it which are enough for you to live in hope, until the next.

You find yourself like a small child wondering what is wrapped up and waiting under the Christmas tree, as each experince brings an amazing event or growth in your life. The only trouble is moving through the full life experience which are there for our personal growth of the soul. This is the hardest part of learning.

I like the idea of us being a piece of clay and the Master is molding us. Each experience whether a loving one or a painful one is the touch of the Master turning us into a masterpiece. Beautiful and unique in our own right, as we are becoming a true work of art.

What most don't understand is that sometimes this hurts, as we are molded and shaped. Even when we are awake during this process of creativity, we can lose ourselves, if we don't put our complete faith in the hands of our Creator.

I think we find that falling off of the shelf and then trying to patch ourselves back together before anyone sees us, is a natural response. But it is through our own surrender that we finely find a little peace, only to find that those cracks can hurt when being smoothed out on the wheel of our Creator.

Just because we have chosen to consciously take the high road to spirituality does not mean that we are immune to cracks that can't hurt us. Some of the most brilliant and spiritual people are still finding the cracks being filled in. We are all as we say, "Human," imperfect and beautiful as we move through our lives.

The work of the soul is this process of learning, love, compassion and faith. It is discovering our fears and releasing our own judgments of ourselves and each other. The painful and loving relationships in our lives are only teaching us how to expand our souls in our own self awareness of learning.

I used to think that people in my life who emotional hurt my ego were out to get me but now I understand that we are all in our own experience and even though we intermingle and affect the other, we are all ultimately learning how to love.

Just recently I had the experience of forgiving myself and someone else of hurting my ego in the past. I decided to move in the act of forgiveness and grace, as I had held this person responsible for my pain. I contacted this person, and got no response which I discovered that I was again shot with the pain of rejection.

But I did come to realize that if my intentions were out of guilt or to find relief in mending the fabric that was torn, then the act of forgiveness was not in line with what I know, should be. I revisited the situation and this time sent love to the person and the past. I released my attachments of this beautiful individual of needing to change or mold this person to my own requirements. The best part, was that I was the one delivered grace.

I know that on a higher level of understanding, we are all created and interwoven of the same fabric with the love that God has infused deep within our soul, in all of us.

My own personal experience here on earth is to learn form the past, sending love to all those who have been and will be apart of my life. It will be a journey of staying conscious of many decisions to come as I am learning to move through an awakening of the spirit.

Namaste,
Ana