"The Bittersweet of Life"

This past weekend my husband and I attended a Torah dedication ceremony in memory of a dear friend's daughter who had passed away last year. I had only met her daughter once so I didn't know her very well. It had been a while since I had seen my friend and I wanted to be there to show my love and support for both her and her family.

When we got to the Synagogue where they were holding the ceremony we were immediately greeted with open arms and big hugs from my friend. We talked and then seated ourselves as there was a long line waiting to have their turn in expressing their wishes. Later in a sea of people she found us and had some of her friends sit with as it was also their first time to attend so we all had something in common.

Many stories were told about her daughter's life and stories about life that made you appreciate your loved ones. One particular story that touched me was told by one of the Rabbis. "It was about a daughter who was complaining to her father about her life and how tough it was. Her father who was a Chef wasn't good with words so he took her into his kitchen and put three pots on the stove to boil. In the first pot he added carrots. In the second pot he added eggs and in the third pot he added coffee beans. When they were all cooked he took them out and put them into bowls for his daughter to look at. Then when the carrots had cooled he had her touch them and they were mushy. Then they peeled the eggs and he scooped some coffee out for them to drink. She smile when she drank it.

The father then went on to explain that all three of the ingredients were subjected to the same cooking process. When the carrots were first added to the pot they were hard and then became mushy. The eggs were soft inside and became hard. The coffee beans were boiled but they blended with the water mixing their sweet flavor transforming the water into coffee. Then the father asked the daughter which one are you?"  The Rabbi went on to say that losses in our lives can be bittersweet as they change us but it is up to us on which way we change.

I know in my own life I have seen people become soft or hard from life experiences. But today when I looked at my friend I could feel her hurting but I could also feel her love and gratitude as she hugged each person who walked through the door knowing their name and asking about their families. I watched her as she went out of her way to make us all feel comfortable before sitting down. There it was... just like the coffee. It was the bittersweet that touched us all in a loving way.

Then I asked myself the same question...

Photographs by Steve Noyce

"Standing in One's Personal Power"

When I was a young teen I used to spend my summers with my father in Taos, New Mexico. One year in particular my father decided it would be a good idea for me to have something that not only occupied some of my time but would teach me something useful. His idea and my idea were completely different as he wanted me to take a Jujitsu martial arts class. I wanted to be in a dance class with all my summer time friends. As much as I was unhappy about the decision then, I do have to say that I did learn a few things.

The one thing that stood out the most for me when I took the class was when our Sensei would line us all up standing in a stance that he taught us while centering ourselves. Then we would focus our energy on being rooted into the ground. When we did this he would come from any direction and push us. The goal was not to topple over, fall, or move. Triggers from past experiences mixed with our own fears played a roll in creating distractions breaking our concentration as we found ourselves on the floor or being caught by our Sensei. There were, however, a few in the higher ranks that could pass the test, which encouraged the rest of us to work really hard on ourselves. What really stuck with me was that each one of us had different weaknesses that made us fall or lose our stance which were unique to each one of us. The whole experience allowed me to see that even though we were all taking the same class, learning the same techniques, we still had different experiences and lessons that we got out of it.

Years later I found that personal power works very much the same way. It is only when we are standing in alignment with our mind, body, and spirit that we find the strength within ourselves to connect with our personal power and it becomes harder for life to topple us over. As individuals living on the planet we each have our own experiences and gifts that we have brought into this world that helps us navigate through our lifetimes. When we are in alignment we recognize when we are having a moment or when others are having theirs in the middle of a situation. This allows us to stay within our integrity while having grace within ourselves and with others.

Life experiences offers many tests where we find that our foundation is threatened throwing us out of balance within ourselves which may cause us to lose or in some cases to hand over our personal power to someone else. This only creates frustration and discord as the mind begins to over analyze, the body reacts, and the spirit separates as it looks for harmony in what was an alliance.

In truth we each have the ability to recognize and make conscious choices in our response to ourselves or someone's negative actions. We all have our moments and sometimes they spill over on to others or on to us. But all of us have our own lessons that are unique to each of us and it is there in those moments that we discover whether we have what it takes to stand in our own personal power so that we can stay in our integrity and hold our stance.


Photographs by Ana; Japanese Gardens, Fort Worth, TX

The Grief Experience

The grieving process is one of those experiences that when we really look at it we can see how it affects the the different layers of us being multi-dimensional beings. Yes, we can track a formula that follows a certain pattern and sometimes it soothes us a little to have a particular course that we can follow. But then there are those other times we may find that we are stuck in a monotonous cycle of the grieving process reliving the experience over and over. So the next question is, "When does it end?" That is a very good question and when we look at ourselves again as multi-dimensional beings we see that we are indeed very complicated beings making that question dependent on healing three important parts of ourselves that hold our grief.

Grief is an emotion that marks the separation of the mind, body, and soul scattered in different directions. When we grieve, we grieve with our whole being but each part of the mind, body, and soul has it's own unique way of processing the whole grief experience. For example even if we are able to accept and understand what has happened, our body may still be moving through its own course of action in releasing the loss. This is why we find that we burst into tears, become angry, or feel depressed even after we thought that we had mentally processed a loss. Another example is when we feel that something isn't right and yet we can't place a finger on it feeling an enormous emptiness or heaviness within ourselves as we have lost our way. This can be described as Soul Sickness. The soul has lost or is missing something that needs to be processed or experienced within the lifetime of the individual yet it makes no sense to that person until they find meaning or cause in making a serious effort to change their course in life to heal the soul. Then there is the mind which can also play its part in grief causing a person to relive and over process an experience of loss to a point of minor madness.

Ancient Chinese medicine says that we carry our grief in our lungs. For many of us we feel it in our hearts. If it is not through the breath in our lungs it is through our hearts torn into a thousand pieces. Even though it may seem to be cruel it is the physical body's way of realigning itself so that it can bring itself to heal within the cells as it tries to reprogram itself to cope with what has happened to continue on with life. The mind also has it's own way of remembering, replaying, processing, firing-off, or even forgetting an experience as it also adjusts itself to come to terms to what has happened or endured. Then there is the energy of the soul that spills over affecting the energy bodies within and the outer layer of the subtle bodies that surround the physical body. Each of these energy centers are also influenced by the mind and body experiencing the grief causing them to become out of balance creating more anxiousness and frustration with one's plight in life. 

For whatever reason a person is moving through their own grieving experience it is always good to know that there is more going on than just the emotion of grief. Grieving is not a process of allowing time to change things so that we heal. No, it is a process of finding balance and learning how to work with and heal those different parts of ourselves that are experiencing the grief. We are after all a whole being not just a body, not just a mind, and not just a soul. We are unique as multi-dimensional beings with all three built into one that needs to find a healthy balance for our grief to heal.   

photographs by Angelique

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's day!

"The Art of being a mother is unique to each individual relationship as it is truly an art that is perfected each day. It is not easy but fulfilling in participating in the life of another individual as they blossom into themselves."  Ana  

1. "Motherhood is... difficult and... rewarding."
   by: Gloria Estefan
   
2. "Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."
   by: Unknown 
3. "We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves."
   by: Henry Ward Beecher
   
4. "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
   by: Abraham Lincoln
   
5. "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers."
   by: Rudyard Kipling
   
6. "A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go."
   by: Anonymous
   
7. "The best place to cry is on a mother’s arms."
   by: Jodi Picoult

Photographs by Angelique

"The Light Body"

One of the many things that you will hear in the healing world is the term "light body". I know for a long time I got the concept of this but didn't actually understand what it really meant until I started to have these amazing series of experiences when I would close my eyes at night trying to fall into sleep. I would see these brilliant rays of the light that moved into my third eye that were breathtaking and blinding to say the least.

At first I was startled and would open my eyes trying to catch my breath almost afraid of closing my eyes not knowing what I would see but within a few nights of this I was able to keep my eyes closed and experience the intensity of the light. On a few occasions I would see a beautiful face smiling back at me as close to my face as possible.

I know that when the third eye opens people will have this type of experience with the light but it was this being whom I felt was very close to me that made me realize that there was more to it than that. I had the great feeling of peace and that a guardian or angel was trying to show me that they were in my energy field.

It was much later that I understood that we are all like the being in which we are all created out of light that is just as brilliant. It is the density of matter that creates our bodies to live in this third dimension world. I remember being under the age of five laying in my bed at night trying to remember where I actually came from. I knew that I was not just my body and had forgotten something very important. It was so close to me remembering but I could not recall it.

I would lay there thinking I came from somewhere else and it was really good but why had I forgotten? I did not understand until one night it came that it was not important for me to remember at the time and so I let it go until that experience so many years later with the light.

Like so many others I had forgotten where I originally came from and like many had always believed that I was alone when the truth is that we are never alone. We are always surrounded by this massive amounts of love and loving guardians. And I remembered what I had forgotten so many years ago is that we are truly the beings and creation of the Creator which has created us in his own image.

I find that often we get stuck in this third dimension but our thoughts and memories are of the the world of energy and light. When we are stuck we send out all this fear, anger and anguish
creating this energy field of this low emotional turmoil that keeps us in fear. It is when we arise above this and find that there is a higher energy field of pure love and light that our eyes open to what can really be achieved in this world.

Look around you today and see all this great fear that we have all created to live in! Then look deep within yourself and find that truth that was and is who you really are. We are all so beautiful when we remember from where we came from and a part of.

Photographs by Ana