"The Bittersweet of Life"

This past weekend my husband and I attended a Torah dedication ceremony in memory of a dear friend's daughter who had passed away last year. I had only met her daughter once so I didn't know her very well. It had been a while since I had seen my friend and I wanted to be there to show my love and support for both her and her family.

When we got to the Synagogue where they were holding the ceremony we were immediately greeted with open arms and big hugs from my friend. We talked and then seated ourselves as there was a long line waiting to have their turn in expressing their wishes. Later in a sea of people she found us and had some of her friends sit with as it was also their first time to attend so we all had something in common.

Many stories were told about her daughter's life and stories about life that made you appreciate your loved ones. One particular story that touched me was told by one of the Rabbis. "It was about a daughter who was complaining to her father about her life and how tough it was. Her father who was a Chef wasn't good with words so he took her into his kitchen and put three pots on the stove to boil. In the first pot he added carrots. In the second pot he added eggs and in the third pot he added coffee beans. When they were all cooked he took them out and put them into bowls for his daughter to look at. Then when the carrots had cooled he had her touch them and they were mushy. Then they peeled the eggs and he scooped some coffee out for them to drink. She smile when she drank it.

The father then went on to explain that all three of the ingredients were subjected to the same cooking process. When the carrots were first added to the pot they were hard and then became mushy. The eggs were soft inside and became hard. The coffee beans were boiled but they blended with the water mixing their sweet flavor transforming the water into coffee. Then the father asked the daughter which one are you?"  The Rabbi went on to say that losses in our lives can be bittersweet as they change us but it is up to us on which way we change.

I know in my own life I have seen people become soft or hard from life experiences. But today when I looked at my friend I could feel her hurting but I could also feel her love and gratitude as she hugged each person who walked through the door knowing their name and asking about their families. I watched her as she went out of her way to make us all feel comfortable before sitting down. There it was... just like the coffee. It was the bittersweet that touched us all in a loving way.

Then I asked myself the same question...

Photographs by Steve Noyce