The Reflection in the Mirror

It seems funny that when we take a really good look at relationships we often find ourselves reflected in the other person. Sometimes this can be an amazing experience and other times it can be downright annoying. To some degree when we are in a relationships we lose ourselves and the other person within the perimeter of our emotional attachments which can feel like it is flowing into a heavy fog. If the relationship is going well this is may not be a problem but if there is a ripple in the connection it can become hard to sort it out as the lines are blurred in knowing who's personal baggage belongs to whom.

If you find yourself in an uncomfortable position while in a relationship with someone it is best to find a place where you are able to sort out your own actions and feelings. With a little practice you can tap into yourself to disconnect from the other person just long enough to identify why your buttons are being pushed or why your feelings are hurt. By learning how to do this simple process you can be more subjective of what is happening in those uncomfortable moments where you can then see what is really going on and why there is a misunderstanding.

For those who are  a little more emotionally sensitive it is a really good practice to take a deep breath to center yourself while taking a small step backwards to move into your own energy. Remember, when we are in close proximity with someone we are sharing our energy fields and stepping back helps us distinguish what is our ours. Just a little note that this holds true for long distant relationships as when we are thinking about someone or even talking to them on the phone our energy is reaching out over the distance.

For those who are more comfortable at feeling into someones else's energy stepping back may not be the answer. In this case it is a little more tricky as it is important not to get too caught up in the emotions but to be mindful in making a couscous decision to discern what is yours emotionally and separating the reactions. Once this is achieved you can see the whole disagreement on a lager scale and decide what your own role played in the disagreement.

Taking these few steps allows us to separate ourselves from the emotional attachment of defending or pushing back in order to change focus to reevaluating the situation. From there we then have the choice to work on owning our own stuff while allowing the other person to work on themselves if they choose too. What we need to be most mindful of is that working on ourselves changes who and what we attract into our lives and frees us up from having to repeat a particular pattern.  A definition for insanity is continuing to repeat a pattern over and over.

The beauty of relationships is that they come into our lives as a reflection of what we already see in the mirror. Those who resonate with our energy will be attracted to us and we to them. So it is really up to us to make the changes if we don't like what we see or to sit back and enjoy it when we do.

Photographs by Steve - Italy - Tuscany