I was visiting with a friend this past weekend who asked me after coming out of a bad relationship this last summer, why she was still having nightmares. She explained that she had realized that the relationship was abusive and that she knew she needed to get her children and herself out of the situation.
What surprised her the most, was that after months of working on her recovery and coming to terms with the mind games and verbal abuse in her mind, she was still being haunted by nightmares. "I don't understand it," she said, "I know that my decision was right and I have even found a place in my heart to forgive him but the dreams wake me up and I am up for hours." "Can you tell me what I am doing wrong?"
As she was talking to me I was reminded of what my teachers had taught me about balancing the mind, body and soul so I began to explain how we as humans need the balance in our lives for feeling whole.
What I am finding is that when we are dealing with trauma in our lives it can be really hard to let go. It is often hard to forgive others as it is to forgive ourselves for allowing that to happen to us.
You have already done the first step of recovery which is recognizing it for what it was and removing you and your family from the situation. That is the hardest of them all.......So many people will stay in an abusive relationship or environment their whole lives.
Next, is working on balancing yourself in the matters of the mind, body and soul. OK, Let's say for now that your mind understands why you are feeling certain ways about what happened to you. That is a big deal.... Not many people are aware of why they are in pain. This is why they have groups and workshops to help people identify mentally what is happening to them.
But people are still susceptible to relapse and returning to their old ways because they still have to heal in the body and soul. Remember that your body is recording everything in it's "cell memory". This is what causes "old tapes" to be triggered by a conversation, seeing someone or by doing something that would bring it back to the unconscious mind.
OK, here to, the soul also records the experience in the energy that connects the body and soul together. That is why if you get too close to someone that is very intuitive they can read your history. The body and soul must be reunited with the mind in order to allow healing to be affective.
What you are experiencing when you sleep are the "old tapes" that are still recorded in the body and soul that come out of your unconscious. No, nothing is wrong with you. You are just human like the rest of us. The trash is being taken out and the only way the body and soul know how to do it, is to release it when you are asleep and the conscious mind is off.
Of course this is disturbing but it is only a signal form that part of you telling you that you still have to deal with something. You still have work to do......
OK, with that in mind you have to now decide what will help you bring yourself back into balance.
An Example..... would be of someone who is sexually abused may have gained a lot of weight for protection so that by losing the weight they are consciously changing something that they may associate themselves with the trauma. They are learning to reprogram themselves from victim to someone who in in charge of their bodies.... they might also take a martial arts class to bring back personal power in protecting themselves. Diet, exorcise, or any kind of body work helps bring the body back into balance and by being conscious will help connect the change to the soul and mind .
Last is the soul and this is discovering what is inside. It is learning what you are all about. No one can tell you. You have to do the work because it is so personal.
Now, think about this.... The reason that we are attracted to some relationships that the dynamics are dysfunctional is because we need to work out something on the soul level. Often these relationships attracts us because we carried something over from our past or childhood that we still need to work out. We will continue to have this pattern until we change it.
Work of the soul is learning how to listen to yourself and to the Creator for guidance. It can be through learning how to do meditation, energy work, prayer, sound healing or even expressing yourself through art and color etc.... But it is all about learning to connect to the soul and finding where your roots began and end.
So what it boils down to, is that even after counseling or classes that educate on the cause. There is still work to do on the body and soul of bringing the self back together as a whole.
We as human beings are such amazing beings that are so complexed yet each one of us are designed in our own unique way. We just need to remember that what happens to us in life and how we learn to work on healing ourselves allows us to reach out to others.
Blessings, Ana
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