Monday, May 19, 2014

The Go Between

As I started to take a part the energy pattern of control I soon discovered the "Go Between" zone. What is the "Go Between" zone you may ask? It is where a person gets into a situation where they stand between two other people who are not communicating well. Now I am not talking about the professional trained counselor or a psychiatrist. What I am talking about is the someone who finds themselves being the go between two other people who refuse to work out their issues. The "Go Between" zone starts out to be perfectly innocent, and then it leads into a whole different ball of wax as the three personalities start to compete for control with their agendas. If you ever heard of the expression "Damned if you do, and Damned if you don't" then you have probably had some experience with this energy pattern.

What I find most intriguing about this energy pattern is that the person that is trying to help the situation after pulling the layers back a little is in their own way trying to control the situation to create some kind of peace in their own life. This is not a bad thing, and often they are labeled as the peace keeper. The only problem with this pattern is that the person that ends up as the "Go Between" usually creates chaos for themselves as they try to balance the scales. I am not saying that we shouldn't try to help someone if they ask for help, but often this pattern usually comes to a head when the "Go Between" is asked to pick sides. This situation then only creates a feeling of loss of control as the scales try to tip heavy to one side for the "Go Between" as they search for where their loyalties rest in the whole picture. Unfortunately balance is not always achieved as going between the two is no longer an option.

I have noticed this behavior in adults who as children had gone through a tough divorce with their parents, and often end up having this pattern as they have tried to adapt to each parent's coping styles do to their circumstances. Then there are situations where two friends that have had a spat, and another friend steps in trying to help heal the situation so that life can continue as it was. There are also those examples with coworkers who disagree creating anxiety within the work place. Sometimes it is good to step back allowing others who have differences of opinions to resolve their own issues as they create situations for themselves to learn form. In any case it is really good to be aware if you find yourself as a "Go Between" taking the time to examine what is happening within yourself as you analyse your true motives.

As for the Go Between it may be better to step aside in most cases letting someone who is trained as a negotiator who can help resolve or bring the issues to some kind of compromise if it is possible.


No comments: