Monday, July 13, 2009


I wonder if we are ever aware of the lies that we tell ourselves? We find something destructive that we identify with or someone else tells us and we hang on to it. The worst part is believing it. What is truly interesting is how powerful these lies are that change our lives.

I was watching a TV show a few years ago and people who were hurt in high school by others were coming on the show to hurt the ones that hurt them. The sad part was that you could see that what ever the believed the other person said about them was true and they carried this opened wound for many years changing their lives for good or bad. What power we give away to others......

Most of the time the person who was brought in had no clue that they hurt someone else because of their own pain. Other times the person confronted was still carrying around some old baggage which was unleashed on the air as they lashed out. It reminded me so much of the wounded animals that used to be used as entertainment as they were fighting for their lives in a pin while other animals that were starving and trying to eat them. As you look around, what do you see?.......

The hardest part I think when one is clearing the old baggage out, is to be careful being around someone else who is in pain. When you are clearing out things they don't just go away but come up time and time again until you deal with them in a healthy way so you heal. That may mean that something may come up which might hurt someone else so be careful who you are around when you are clearing.

The whole point in growing is not to hurt anyone else and not to point fingers at someone, when we are all wounded from something.

If you are asked by someone else to help you then mirroring someone so that they see themselves is OK, if it is done in love, remembering that you to have things that you are dealing with to. Amazing, how learning to be gentle and kind is not as easy as we think but can be achieved with much effort.

Those of us who are learning to treat others "Not" the way you were treated when it was in negative form can change the world. Remembering what is a lie that we are holding on to and protect might not be something worth protecting in the grand scheme of things.....

How many times are you aware of yourself and others talking out of old wounds? What is it that makes you still believe a lie about yourself?? What is it in ourselves that we have to learn again to love ourselves unconditionally?

As I learn I have noticed that when I hear someone state something that I know is untrue it has no effect as I wave it off as information that has no power over
my thoughts when there are better things to think about. Still other times someone can make a simple statement that strikes the hart and hurts. By working through the process of learning if it is something really needs work or an untruth we can then heal wounds through our love of ourselves and others.

The full human ripple of how we effect each other is enormous on how it touches so many. If we were to act in love and to realise as we take control of our own personal power we could change so much in the world. And help with eliminating so much fear.


Friday, June 26, 2009

Definition of the Self

What is it that truly defines you? Is it the clothes that you wear, your job, the people you hang out with, money, position or your family? What makes you, You? Do you define yourself with the things that other people think or see?

Is it your reputation, how you deliver yourself and handle yourself in front of others so that you put on a tight corset around your inner being and can only be this certain type of person who others deem worthy that becomes a definition of the self? No, I am not saying to lose your integrity but remember who are you trying to impress?

Who is the real you and if others catch a glimps of the real you will they go off screaming? I doubt it........ What are we as humans trying to hide? What are the things that put fire and passion in our lives as we seek to learn and grow in our own experiences? Who in your life do you let define who you are and you realise that they are only projecting their own lives and fears?

What is it like, to not walk in someone else's footsteps and tare off the mask that we all wear to be who others define us to be? How hard is it to make that break and be comfortable with our true selves and talents? What does it take to be comfortable with who we are inside?


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

In the Beauty of the Spirit

Wisdom and guidance comes in a language that only connects us to our Spirit as we connect to the Source of our Creator. Who are we, unless we are connected to that Source? It is by remembering that our inner connection is so important that we do not hand it over to someone else.

Letting go and clearing out the old, so that we can make way for the new, can be unimaginable to us as we move through the experience of loss. But it is our understanding that by doing so we are moving into the true path of our souls and opening our lives to a higher level of growth in our Spirits.

What better way to test our faith in ourselves as we learn not to let the material things of the earth keep us away form where we are to be connected. It is by remembering that we are the spirit that lives in the body having a human experience and that our lives are only a flash in time but the the lessons are eternal.

Change is never an easy thing to do yet we live day to day with both the birth and death of our loved ones around us, reminding that time is only a fleeting moment. It is by not getting stuck in the the man made rules and regulations of the religious order that we learn to trust ourselves in our own personal relationship to God. It is our own spiritual growth to be aware that the changes in our lives will move us on our personal journey of this life.

I am not saying don't be religious but don't let that stop you from connecting. You were made in the image and loved by the Spirit of the Holy Spirit and the true Source. So by learning to connect you are opening up the healthy connection between you and the Creator and become personally guided within your soul.


Sunday, June 7, 2009

Facing Our Shadow Selves

The shadow side is something that many of us seem to fear in ourselves as we discover a side of us that we want to hid form others. Often this is something that we are afraid if someone else gets a glimpse of, they will turn way and hide.

So what is the shadow that we allow it to hold us back and why is it apart of us?
Everyone has a shadow as no one escapes this. So if we all have it, then why do we judge others for having it? Please note, this is not to be confused with the Dark Soul. But know that both the Dark Soul and the Light Soul have the shadow. With this knowledge we still find it hard to let others know that we have it.

A few years ago, I was in Taos, New Mexico and had the privilege to meet Ted Wired who is a Minister and Councilor who introduced me to the idea of what the shadow was all about. I learned that the shadow in our lives helps us grow and learn form our experiences here upon this earth.

The fear of our own shadows can freeze us as we move through the experience which cause us not to move on to a higher understanding of how to move past the darker nature of ourselves. It is when we become stuck that we begin to judge others for the shadows within ourselves.

Fear now becomes the obstacle of how we view others and ourselves and we become tormented in our own shadow and project that upon others. But if we are aware of our shadow selves and realize that when we shed light upon this area within ourselves, it is almost like turning on a light and finding that the dark shadow in the dark is only a chair with a coat hanging on it.

Freedom is brought in by shining light on our own inner fears and learning to move though the experience as we learn how to grow. In truth, by facing ourselves and discovering what we fear that others would judge, we learn that we can forgive ourselves and not judge others with the same fear.

So what does this mean? Major healing within the soul, that is all......... Self acceptance and acceptance of others as we learn that the shadow is only there to teach us how to move onto higher ground. And by moving through the shadow to the other side, into the light, we find peace within ourselves.


A Flash from the Past

I think for many of us we forget how much the energy around us and in us affects us. I know that I for one, even though, I try to make it my intention to be aware, I don't always do. So that is when I am caught off guard, when someone or something comes up and surprises me.

The other day my daughter and I went shopping for a dress for her to wear to my little sister's wedding which is coming up very soon. As we were walking into the store, she brought up the subject that she had been hurting in the joints of her hands as the heat and humidity was climbing.

She then went on to tell me that she decided that it was not something that she felt she needed to experince, so she envisioned a light of healing energy that was around her hand and in her hands. With that she then scraped the pain off with each hand like sloughing off a coating of wax.

What surprised me was that this is an ancient technique of energy work, that I had been learning about with one of my teachers and had not imparted that knowledge to her or anyone in my family. It is a healing practice that helps to relieve pain. And I personally felt silly doing the technique with others. So where did she get this knowledge?

This brought me to speaking with one of my teacher's who imparted the information that a lot of the healing techniques are passed down and embedded in our own DNA. It is almost like being down loaded though the cellarer memory and structure of our ancestors. So maybe the Bible is right, and we do pass what we do here on earth, form generation to generation. Sins or healing is all shared as it is recorded in our DNA and the make up of our cells.

Interesting, as I am exploring that thought..... I am learning that even things that I know intuitively are not my imagination, as learn to trust myself with the help of many teachers. I have been learning not to stand in my own way.

So here is my daughter, who is becoming into her own with not only that intuitive knowledge but the ability to access the energy to heal. How much of this kind of thing happens to our children and we tell them it is their imagination and to move on? What kind of abilities and spiritual gifts are we squashing because we where told the same or rejected it ourselves?

As I look around and have learned to open to the arts of energy and healing, I see so many children with the gifts of reading energy, energy work, intuition, healing, seeing, and connecting others to their spiritual side, who don't have the encouragement and validation of what comes so naturally. I talk to those in the family who are aware of the gifts but blow it off as a childhood fancy.

Which brings me to my own experience and what I know to be true as it has been an major shift in self discovery of how these things work and flow in a stronger connection to myself and the Creator.

Some of my own knowledge was taught to me by my own father in the past but I rejected it myself as I wanted to fit in with the everyone else, yet there are things that come with natural ability so that I have sought out teachers for answers. Moving through this, I have found that my children are amazing teachers themselves.

Many Blessings,

Friday, June 5, 2009

the Gathering of the Souls

I was working with a wonderful teacher this past week, and this story was told to me once before, and I was gently reminded of it again, about the two kinds of souls and how they came about here on earth. One is the dark soul and the other is the light soul.

The reason why there are two types of souls, is that dark souls decided to come to the earth without the blessing of the Creator. They decided to break off and come to this life experince with their own agenda, but they didn't realize that without the blessing of God they would not have the beautiful light energy that everyone else has. So the dark soul is constantly seeking the light of the souls with the divine spark of light.

The light souls have the blessing from God to be here on earth, to live and learn within the plan of their lives. They are here to work with other souls to improve themselves all within this plan and the spark inside them is the light they shine from God as they are connected.

Now, you must know that a dark soul can never be light as they do not have this blessing, and the light souls have the blessing so they are always light even when they stray off the path and become dim, because they carry the spark of the Creator.

The dark souls are attracted to this light and will often use the compassion of the light soul to try to suck the energy and light from the light soul. This will cause the light soul to be confused, in pain, and wonder why, if they are trying to help, why their light is beginning to dim.

Remember, the light is the spark and blessing from God, so it can never be taken away, only covered up. It is when the light soul learns that they are being sucked dry, that they will have to learn to move completely away form the dark soul, that is trying so hard to use their light for their own agendas. The separation from the drain of the dark soul will restore the light back to the light souls, so that they may move back onto the path of health and peace, and the soul work they are here to do.

What we don't realize is that a dark soul looks like everybody else on this earth. They don't have four heads and breath fire with a large wart on their nose. They look and act like everyone else. The only difference is that you will know a dark soul as they drain the light's vital essence and energy away to attract other light souls, as they try to hide behind their light.

The misuse of power and the need to control is another way to recognize these souls. Even the dark souls can tap into and speak with a gifted tongue of the heavens so you can be fooled into thinking a dark soul is full of light, when in truth, the dark soul is looking for the light they never have.

No, these souls are not demons but lost, as they decided to do things their own way without the light, blessing, or spark of the Creator. These souls are surrounded by chaos, un-health, unrest and peace is lost with the misuse of the power they crave.

A dark soul will use projection of their own fears upon the light soul to bring their light energy down as a way of power and control, as they never feel really good enough, no matter who they are, or where they are. This has nothing to do with the shadow side of the soul as both the light and dark souls still have the shadow to deal with.

Redemption is between them and God.........

Peace be with you,

Friday, May 29, 2009

Stuck Emotions

So, I am talking to a group of friends and the subject of being held hostage by our own emotions comes up. I loved this, because everyone can relate to being stuck and just like the commercial says, only with a twist, "I am stuck and I can't get out."

Now, I must admit that positive emotions are amazing and, as far as I am concerned, can stay as long as they can last. But the negative ones need to pass on by without leaving a calling card. Only it seems that it is the negative emotions that we get stuck in and really seem to notice.

It just so happened that I was listening to one of my teachers talk about emotions and how we need them to listen to, so that we can use them to live as warnings or signals, as they were created to help us get along is this old world.
It is when the emotions get stuck and we are not in tune with ourselves that this becomes a major problem.

A past trauma may cause an emotion to get stuck and because we as humans don't like pain we send it away without dealing with the emotion that reminds us of the past trauma. Sounds a lot like cell memory or Post traumatic stress for those of you who like the scientific terms.

The reality is that now when you come upon a similar situation, you will experince this past baggage of emotions as it is now registered in your cells. This allows you to revisit it over and over until you finely decide to deal with it.

OK, now that we are aware of the stuck emotion we have to go through the process of revisiting the trauma and moving through the emotions in a safe environment with someone you trust and very qualified to help you with this. As for a lot of people the experience will be very real but will be different for each individual.

Truth is that our emotions are powerful, healing and helpful as they are the true signals of what we are experiencing and learning in this life as long as we keep them from getting stuck and learning how to move them into a healthy state of growth.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Healing on a Higher Level

One of the things that many of us are working on as we move through the human experience is learning how to heal those past rocky relationships that are no longer apart of our lives. I know that with the work that I have been doing this has been one of the quest that I have put upon myself so that I can balance and heal within my own heart.

Often there are relationships that you will experience that making the contact can't be achieved and therefor putting you at a stand still as you are trying to clear that old energy out of your energy field. This makes the work of healing a little different than what we all assume to be the only solution as far as a person to person interaction.

What I have learned and what I have discovered that working on the higher realm is often the option when this blocks the road of healing. This means working with God and the higher self of the person which is the soul of the person you are having conflict with. The best part is that because we are all crated by our Creator that makes us apart of the same family which in turn allows us to be more loving and accepting towards each other on a higher realm.

The energy of the soul has a higher loving energy toward one another, meaning that what the body and mind are doing is not necessarily who we truly are on the soul level. That is why so many people become split when they are going against the true nature of their souls as they follow certain norms here on earth.

It helps to understand that really learning to tap into the loving nature of the soul as we put out trust in God is how we become a lot more comfortable with what is unfolding in our own lives. It also gives a much bigger picture of how the soul is here on earth to learn even as our egos might take control causing havoc in our lives.

So with this in mind we can go into a meditation asking God to come into our personal space and inviting the other person's higher self to come. It is here in the quite and the scared space that we ask God to intervene and allow us to express our sincere love for them and bringing them into our lives to teach us as we grow and learn in this life. We can also ask for forgiveness form both them and ourselves for whatever has passed.

It is also important that we ask God to cover us both with a beautiful light of love and healing energy so that we can go back into our lives with a feeling of wholeness. Then with gratitude we can part and move back to our awareness of this life.

With this done, each time that person enters your mind, you then send them loving and healing thoughts guided their way. Keep them in your prayers and don't worry if you think they wont get it, as it is stamped with their name on it.
That type of mail always gets delivered on time.

Oh and one more thing to remember, is that just because the healing is done on the soul level, it is not about bringing that person in your life again. If that is what is supposed to happen for the highest good, for both you and them, then it will happen. But if it is not, it will be what it is. The thing to remember is that it is about loving the other person and having faith that it is all in God's plan.

1.Forgive, 2.Let go, 3.Trust....... big steps on the road to forgiveness and healing.



One of the things that I have noticed is that many of us fall in the trap that we have to be perfect. Therefore we find ourselves struggling behind closed doors wondering if people are apt to see out flaws.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Shifts of Life

It seems that we all go through major shifts, like changes in our lives, that make improvements in our spiritual growth as we move down the path of life. Sometimes it is a blessing in disguise, even if we claw and hold on to all the door frames as we are being moved from one place to the other.

I for one, always thought I enjoyed the spontaneity of change but lately these movements have been coming in quick blasts each time the wind turns in a new direction. It is a lot like riding a roller coaster and not knowing what is around the next turn or over the next hump. But with each ride there is the sense of a thrill of accomplishment and a feeling of, "that wasn't as bad as I thought," only to find that another ride is about to take flight after getting off the last.

As we learn to center ourselves in all the major shifts going on in our lives and the lives of those we hold most dear, we can take on a new appreciation of learning. Thus, we can experience the events and changes in our lives without the massive amounts of drama that we might have been more susceptible to before we learned to do so. Finding that center within ourselves allows us to move into a place where we can find peace that can give us freedom to experience the unplanned events that life can sometime throw at us.

But with this, there is also a need to find a community that can be trusted, where you can speak your truth without fear, and validate your feelings as you are moving through the creative process of life changing events. It is here, in a small group of friends or healing circle, that you find acceptance of who you are without judgment and are loved because you are in the same life boat and apart of the crew weathering out the same storm.

For all of us, it is about finding acceptance and love without judgment that helps us move on to healing waters. I am so amazed of the wonderful people in my life within the Healing Circles, as we reach out, to each other in growing and learning how to find peace in a community of self acceptance, surrounded by support and love for each other.

Finding the strength as we experince the shifts is learning self acceptance and how to connect, not only with each other, but also finding that peace that is within us all as we move through the changes that life has to offer, knowing we are apart of something much bigger than ourselves.


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Energy Prayers

Here is something to try as I mentioned it in my last blog called energy prayers. It is for those of you who like to feel energy and want to have a little more of a connection with our Creator.

First you need to find a quite space where you wont be disturbed for at least 30 minutes. I like to lie down but others like to set with their feet on the floor. You need to take the time to slow the thoughts with your mind by breathing out the negative thoughts or irritations of the day. As you do breath in positive energy and love as it feel it fill you whole body all the way down to your DNA. Relax and enjoy the feeling as you bring in this energy of love starts to tingle in your whole body.

Ask God to come into your heart and fill your body and spirit with love. As you do you will fill this beautiful feeling

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Source

As I move through my own experience, I find that many including myself are going through or have gone through the change of the soul. We see it all the time even though we might not be aware of it. So often we look for religious experiences where we can have that personal connection and we may find it in the mass of others who have the same quest but what happens when you go home?

What happens when you go back to your family and your job? Do we forget where our personal connection with our Creator began? You hear so much about falling victim of some organization or charismatic person who draws you in and you end up giving up your personal beliefs to follow. It is somewhere along this line that you have lost yourself and your personal power of connecting with our own Spirituality.

Spirituality, is something that we tend to give up so easily as we don't realize how it is so important to connect, so that our souls grow on a higher level of learning. I talk to so many people who are so disappointed as they leave these circumstances disillusioned and a feeling of emotional trauma. Where as many will return to the same situation or move on searching for answers. Some lose their faith all together.

But maybe we have it all wrong as we hand over our precious gift of the care of our own spirituality to others and the organizations. Truth is that the growth of our own spirituality and our souls is out of tending to it everyday and not giving it away. Who is to say what is between you and God. Your own connection to the source is different than anyone in the world.

I have learned from some amazing people and teachers in my life to trust and listen to what is inside myself as I make that connection. As you share what you are learning and if someone suggest something that they feel, always know that your experience is yours and personal which means if it rings true within your spirit, then trust and you will know in your heart what is the real truth. We were all built, with that inner knowing and connection to the true source of God.

I know that meditation is not for everyone as it is hard to quite the mind sometime when you have thirty different things to do but it is a good way to hear what the Creator has to say in the silence. Also, prayers are heard and feeling the positive energy within your own soul can change your life bringing you closer to how you were created. Talking out loud or in your head is another easy way to connect. Love is a big one and one of my favorites for those who like to work in the energy prayers.

There are so many ways to care for our relationship with our Creator without handing the responsibility over to other individuals, it just takes a little practice, faith and love to enjoy this powerful and fulfilling experience of connection with our Creator.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

The sin eater

Have you ever wondered why when you think you are finished with something and all is well and then it keeps popping up? In fact it is almost like a nightmare as it just doesn't pop up but multiplies.... This is when you think to yourself that someone upstairs is trying to tell you something.

I think for all of us we have that same nightmare as we often see it in the movies when the villain dies and then keeps jumping out with the knife. You get that thought of, OK, die already. As each time you think it is done and it repeats it's self. I know I have this issue when I am not taking care of the things I need to face.

I think it can be so easy for us to put unfinished business in a box and place it under the bed. Oh.... I don't recommend this as it will cause you nightmares if you put something with major emotional trauma under the bed both physically
or mentally. It is only by taking the bull by the horns and wrestling it to the ground knowing it you are going to get dirty and might get a little scratched.

I know for me I thought that after I made the decision to work on my personal healing and spiritual growth that all would be smooth sailing. Not a chance....
it seems that the things that I packed away for another day, have come back for a second round.

Meaning as one of my friends said one time when I was leaving behind a very difficult situation. "Ana, I don't need to know what happened but what ever it is you need to learn form it and it will not come back and knock you in the head."

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Powerful in the Present

By us not swallowing the lie, we create one of the biggest acts of discovering our personal power which is finding our true connection to the Holy Spirit. I know that many have learned the disparate lie at an early age that we are not good enough to measure up to others, as we are taught to compare ourselves in this world.

This lie is only a trick of the ego, trying hard to hold us hostage of our true selves. What we need to remember is that we were created by the Divine. We were created in love which many have long forgotten from where we originally came from, as carry this lie in our hearts.

As we stumble in the dark trying hard to find the light, we often get a flash that leads us to a path where some who have found the spark of light and are offering their light to light the path to awaken the other souls form the darkness.

As we are attracted to the path which is lit up, we find that we can be powerful in our own thoughts and actions if we stay in the present and leave all of our past pain behind. But if we move into the past or try to go on into the future bringing up the pain, then we get lost in the emotional baggage or lost in fear where we must learn to free ourselves.

We, not God or anyone else, creates our own pain in our lives, as we hold the knife to our own necks. If we ask God to release us from this, then we must be willing to drop the knife. If we ask God to release us and we are unwilling to let go of the knife, then we allow our own suffering to continue until we are brought to our knees in surrender. In which case for many of us that is when the Holy Spirit will often intervene. And things in our life began to shift in a whole new meaning and different direction.

Once we again remember, where once we came, through love, as a creation of the Divine. Then remember the lie that we swallowed was only a lie as we began to live.

Blessings, Ana

In the Kingdom of our Fathers

Once a long time ago, long enough that most of us can't remember, there was a land of great abundance. And in this land, were beings who honoured the sacredness of the self and love. But there came a presence in this beautiful world which we will call a lie and in that lie, brought doubt and fear.

It was within the intent of the lie that things began to fall apart and the beings were starting to lose their glowing light. One by one they swallowed the lie and one by one they relinquished their light. And soon this beautiful kingdom, fell into a darkness where the only light that now shined was now created by the one who wanted the lie to spread.

It was there in that darkness as the beings were wandering around without the hope of light or finding each other in the dark, that one being discovered a spark and within the spark was the abundance of healing and truth, the one part of the true light that survived the the whole ordeal.

Now in this spark there was also a glow. And to look at the glow reminded you of where you came form which offered forgiveness and the true meaning of hope for anyone who saw or touched it.

It was there in the darkness, that a healing occurred and the one being who had first lost their light, began to understand the truth and meaning of love. Within that love there was a connection to God and where it all began. As the being picked up the spark that now started to grow into a larger light and others came to touch the light. The world that was filled with darkness, was now lit up with an enormous light.

As the beings began to see again and remember what they had lost because of the lie. They also understood that the only reason they lost their light is because they believed the lie which gave it power. The true power was understanding it was only a lie and moved on with what they were doing without the constant belief of the lie.

Freedom, form the bondage of darkness was achieved, as the beings learned that lie, is only a lie, nothing else and nothing more.......

In Peace,

Spritual Awakening

One of the things that I have learned out of the many bumps and bruises of starting to awaken and learn, is that it is not all smooth sailing. I think many of us have this fantasy of peace that comes when you finely open your eyes and see the light. The truth is that you only began to get small glimpses of it which are enough for you to live in hope, until the next.

You find yourself like a small child wondering what is wrapped up and waiting under the Christmas tree, as each experince brings an amazing event or growth in your life. The only trouble is moving through the full life experience which are there for our personal growth of the soul. This is the hardest part of learning.

I like the idea of us being a piece of clay and the Master is molding us. Each experience whether a loving one or a painful one is the touch of the Master turning us into a masterpiece. Beautiful and unique in our own right, as we are becoming a true work of art.

What most don't understand is that sometimes this hurts, as we are molded and shaped. Even when we are awake during this process of creativity, we can lose ourselves, if we don't put our complete faith in the hands of our Creator.

I think we find that falling off of the shelf and then trying to patch ourselves back together before anyone sees us, is a natural response. But it is through our own surrender that we finely find a little peace, only to find that those cracks can hurt when being smoothed out on the wheel of our Creator.

Just because we have chosen to consciously take the high road to spirituality does not mean that we are immune to cracks that can't hurt us. Some of the most brilliant and spiritual people are still finding the cracks being filled in. We are all as we say, "Human," imperfect and beautiful as we move through our lives.

The work of the soul is this process of learning, love, compassion and faith. It is discovering our fears and releasing our own judgments of ourselves and each other. The painful and loving relationships in our lives are only teaching us how to expand our souls in our own self awareness of learning.

I used to think that people in my life who emotional hurt my ego were out to get me but now I understand that we are all in our own experience and even though we intermingle and affect the other, we are all ultimately learning how to love.

Just recently I had the experience of forgiving myself and someone else of hurting my ego in the past. I decided to move in the act of forgiveness and grace, as I had held this person responsible for my pain. I contacted this person, and got no response which I discovered that I was again shot with the pain of rejection.

But I did come to realize that if my intentions were out of guilt or to find relief in mending the fabric that was torn, then the act of forgiveness was not in line with what I know, should be. I revisited the situation and this time sent love to the person and the past. I released my attachments of this beautiful individual of needing to change or mold this person to my own requirements. The best part, was that I was the one delivered grace.

I know that on a higher level of understanding, we are all created and interwoven of the same fabric with the love that God has infused deep within our soul, in all of us.

My own personal experience here on earth is to learn form the past, sending love to all those who have been and will be apart of my life. It will be a journey of staying conscious of many decisions to come as I am learning to move through an awakening of the spirit.


Fire of the Spirit

As I share some of my experiences in life, I have to mention one of the many experiences I had, that pushed me over the edge, on the the path that I am on now. It seems to have started two and a half years ago. I have mentioned before about having experiences that were rather spontaneous happening in and out through out my whole life. Nothing, as strong as the one I wrote about in my blog "Epiphany" but close to it.

Again, these were happening spontaneous and could happen any where or at anytime, while I was driving, setting at my desk or just living life. What happened was that I would start to get a tingling sensation in my body and a feeling of warmth and love would drape over me like a nice fuzzy tingly blanket coming form behind by back. Then an all encompassing feeling of love and acceptance would shoot up my spine almost like fire as it exploded out of my head. A feeling of pure bliss and ecstasy would follow as love felt like it was beaming form every cell in my whole body.

This experience was different than what I described earlier in the "Epiphany" blog as I felt apart of everyone and everything. This was a feeling of love for all those around me. The feeling would last a few minutes and it would slowly wear off the rest of the day.

The funny thing is that I was in an unhealthy situation at my work place and this would happen where I felt love but would start to resort back into the unhealthy behavior patterns as I went back into my environment within days. As I was starting to work on a healing program for my workplace, I decided to take the liberty of following my nose, so to speak.

I decided to try to find what and why this was happening to me. So I began to talk to very close friends, where it was suggested that I start learning meditation, which might help me understand what was going on.

A Continuing Education catalog arrived at our house within a few days of this decision and as I was looking through it, a meditation class stood out. OK, that was easy, I called and enrolled. Feeling a little uncomfortable and like a fish out of water, I sat in my first class out on the side. Our teacher was going to have no part of that and quickly moved us into a circle and started us out by saying our name and why we were there.

As I opened my mouth to say, I was here to see what mediation was all about, the teacher stopped me in mid sentence and said, "so much will change in your life the next nine months and you will not know yourself as you know yourself now." Oh honey, you didn't volunteer to come here, you were dragged here." Then she moved on to the next person, as my sentence was never completed. I wish I could say that all my answers were answered in that class but it was the beginning of a journey of self discovery and spiritual awakening for the last two and a half years.

I might not have the answers you might be looking for but if you are reading this blog then you are on the same path that I am of learning. As we share our experiences and stories, then we come together in a unity of understanding that when the Holy Spirit calls us to grow, the only way to find peace, is to move on that path.

In Love,

Monday, May 18, 2009

Natural Rhythms of Life

As we learn to feel the natural rhythms of life all around us, we began to move into a new consciousness. There seems to be a heart beat and awareness of energy which flows in us and though us. This is what is called, subtle energy that affects you even if you are not aware of it.

Everything we know of is made of some type of energy, even the things that we believe are solid. Energy can create low frequency sound, vibration or space that can be picked up by the energy centers located in our own bodies. It is because of this that we are able to become sensitive to the energy around our bodies.

You can use the example of plugging up your ears and feeling the top of the piano as someone plays so you feel the vibration. You don't hear the sound but you feel it. Again this is energy on a stronger level of vibration.

So now lets us say you take your shoes off and walk barefoot in the park. If you stand close to a train track you will feel the train and if you stand close to the road you will feel the cars. But what if you stand in the middle of a field as your energy centers in your body start to feel. Then you began to pick up the energy of the earth and all the things that are apart of it.

Same thing, when you use your higher energy centers and start to meditate or stand still in the quiet. You will feel an energy that comes down from the heavens and moves through top of your head. It may feel a little like waves moving in and through your body or a tingling sensation. I am finding that people feel the energy differently but everyone feels it.

A few years ago I was in Taos, NM and was there working out some relationship issues in my life. I had meet this Medicine Man and he told me that," energy is not good or bad as it comes form the Great Spirit. It is the person and their intentions that create the good or bad as they use it. Energy is only energy as it was created." I remember at the time that made no sense to me. Now, with more of an understanding of how things work, it make perfect sense.

Energy is no more than a tool that can be used and moved with our thoughts and bodies. It is not something to warship or some type of magic. It is the same as cutting down a tree and building a house. It is learning how to move it so that it flows the way it was created to flow in and out of us. In a past blog I discussed how when the energy gets stuck it can cause illness in the body and that by moving can help speed up healing. Again it is the way we are made as it moves through you, in you and even gets stuck whether you are aware of it or not.

We as human beings have forgotten what we once knew, even connecting with our Creator and living in harmony with the energy and things around us. It is time for us to remember and wake up form dreaming.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Energy Color

If you have read my past blogs on energy then you understand that seeing energy has nothing to do with religion. It is not something to worship or be afraid of as it is apart of everything and in everything. Emotionally it is truly a state of being. It is learning how to balance the emotional self with body, mind and spirit.

For those of you, who can see the color around living things then you understand that energy can be transposed by the brain into color as it shows the different moods of individuals. Emotions, come in so many colors and the way people are feeling shows up in the energy field around them. As I talk to people more and more I am finding that everyone has this gift of seeing the colors, only most have forgotten and have left it behind.

Two years ago when I started to remember how to see colors again, I was explaining it to my children. One of my children who is very well grounded said, "Oh, you are talking about the colors of light that surround people." I had no idea that my children could see this or were even aware of it. When we stated to talk, I discovered that they are able to see but have played it off as a trick of the light.

Energy is nothing to be afraid of as it makes up everything in the universe. It is in everything and around everything only most of us are not aware of it as some. As far as color is concerned, people don't realize how beautiful they really are. This has nothing to do with skin color, faith or other, it is about really just being human.

Something fun you can try......

I find myself doing this when I am board or wanting to know the color of my own energy. Find a mirror and look into it. When you do, find your outline and stare at it for a minute. What you will began to see is a whitish light surrounding you. So often this is what most people see only at first and some will even see color at that time. If you are like me, it might take a few times at first but you will eventually see it.

Once you do, then you can play with it, by expanding the light out by thinking of someone you love or feeling good about. Later, you might began to see color. Don't be discouraged if you don't see color right away, it takes some time and once you do it is like riding a bike.

If you are feeling love, then send it to someone you care about. Trust me the energy is there to carry that love to them. If they don't pick it up then I promise their spirit will.

Love, Ana

Friday, May 15, 2009


I know I can be a little slow at coming to these things as I see others shaking their heads as to, "Now she gets it"! For me you can tell me about it and I can study it but until I experience it, it takes awhile to sink in.

Lately, I have been working hard on learning about ascension and tying to understand exactly what it is. As I learn I find it very close the story of Revelations that is discussed in the Bible only with a view of the more positive side. It is not about death and destruction. But about love and forgiveness so that we prepare ourselves for the ascension in which we will become reunited with our Creator.

Great, this is something I can read without feeling like I am the only one missing out on all the symbols of the story. I found to, that it is not just in our culture that discusses this event but a lot of others who have the same story just viewing it from a different perspective. All you Artist know what I mean.

I have been having these beautiful experience on and off through out my whole life but never understood the true meaning of what it was all about until now as I am starting to put it all together with my teachers, gifted friends and the amazing circles of learning.

Last night, as I laid my head on the pillow and started to go into the dream state, I was reminded of my experience, which I talked about in an earlier blog about this feeling of an all encompassing love that took over my whole being. And when I say being, I mean the mind, body and the soul. This love connected me to everything as we call alive and nonliving. And even though I was in my living room I felt apart of every human, plant, mineral and animal. I knew what everything was thinking and experiencing for that brief moment of time. It was almost so overwhelming as my heart expanded and I started to lose myself in it.

It was fear, that brought me out of it, as I was becoming one with everything and was losing my since of me. Yes, I have always prided myself as being quite the separate individual and free. I had never experienced this feeling of oneness in my life and when I calmed down enough to analysis what just happened I discovered that I liked it! I even felt, I would like to do that again but
this one unique experience has not happened since and that was four years ago.

As I have searched to find the answers to such spontaneous experiences in my life. These amazing people have been coming into my life and teaching me about healing. As I work and learn I find that things in my own life that have caused me pain are finely started to change into lessons of teaching without suffering attached to it.

I discovered to that the very basic teaching is forgiving myself and others in my life that I have held accountable for so much. I have also learned that through the love, that I can now send out to those in my life in the past, present and future that love is once again seeping through and moving me in a direction of healing.

The pain that blinded me in my own experience has now changed to feeling the pain of those who were hurting. Yet, I have discovered that I can now revisit those past experiences and send love and healing to those caught in those events.

I have also learned that by moving through this process of healing that I am pulling more of a higher energy through myself which is what many teachers on this earth through out the ages were talking about. By doing this alinement I am beginning my path of once again, toward the experience of feeling that state of being whole and apart of everything.

There is a saying that, Once you experience first class, then nothing else compares".

With Great Love,

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Depths of the Soul

One of the many lessons it seems that I am learning on my spiritual quest is finding that place inside us all that we hide the beauty that the Creator gave to each of us. No, I am not talking about spiritual gifts but that place inside that makes us feel apart of everyone and everything.

This is an amazing part of ourselves that we often deny because of fears or blocks that we have decided to make our own. I know that sounds strange as most of us think we can just let it go but it takes more than that to set this straight, as we navigate through life's path.

This is really about discovering our emotional fears and not moving away but trusting in that very small voice of inner guidance that God has entrusted to each and everyone of us as we move through the storm.

It is about loving that part of you that you are afraid that others will reject but instead seeing yourself through the eyes of our Creator. Discovering that delicate weave that has been tailored as you and only you, who with love can change the world out of the compassion of moving through the depths of your fears which brings people together.

That beauty lives in all of us and the time is coming to set it free, as it is in our make up and in our surrender of letting go.


Saturday, May 9, 2009


Sometime things come out of the blue and hit you when you least expect it which it is always nice to have someone there who can

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Inner Peace

I truly find it amazing that people are starting to realize that they hold the keys to their own healing. By just saying that they want to change is the beginning of a life long journey of healing and learning that will never end. I used to think that it was only last a few years and then you would be cured but we as humans are so much more complected than that. We have layer after layer that we are working on in this life to find the peace that lies within.

The true excitement of going on this journey is discovering so much of how you are connected to others and how they are connected to you. One thing that is really clear is that we are never alone as we move down this path of life lessons.
As I move through each step being introduced to teachers and students a like I find the common thread of learning.

Miracles happen all the time only we have forgotten that the true healing is locked deep inside ourselves. So much of our own head noise and misery is created in our own minds. It is when we are able to let go of the thought or thoughts that torment our souls and set it free that we are able to grow from our own mistakes or pain.

How we torture ourselves with thoughts and raw emotions that bring a beautiful soul out of the light and into the darkness. We are the masters of our own ships and we are the ones who hold the key to our own happiness. All we have to do is accept and let the thought go as we move into another thought of higher ground.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

A Healing Energy

I was visiting with a beautiful person this weekend, and as we were in a class together, the discussion of Reiki came up. I picked up, somewhere in the discussion, that they were a little uncomfortable with what we were being introduced to. It was then that my thoughts went back to a conversation that I had with my Mom on the phone on what Reiki was all about.

The really neat thing was that she was the one who described it to me to where it really made sense. She called me up one day and said that she had a realization that Reiki was really another method of prayer. I, being myself, said, "Oh and how so?" To which she replied, that Reiki was laying of hands and sending out healing energy to surround, heal and protect someone who was in need.

Reiki is sending energy from the Holy Spirit or Spirit, however you believe, to bring only the highest good on someones behalf. The best part is that you can't get it wrong and send negative energy because your favorite
team lost that day. It does not come from you.

Reiki is a beautiful energy created by our Creator that surrounds those who need it. It works on the same level as prayer, only without words or verbal communication. It is just another form of praying over someone for healing. For those of you who are feelers, or pick up energy, will love this form of healing as it heals you by moving though you as the human conduit.

I think that people who are afraid, because of religious backgrounds, really don't understand where the energy comes from and how it works, as it is no form of magic. If anything, it is a connection with the Creator and an amazing experience for those who facilitate it and those who receive it.


Monday, April 13, 2009

The Ties That Bind

Amazing, how we can go through life and not know how to intimately connect with ourselves and others. We are completely left at the mercy of our own ignorance. Who teaches this stuff? Where do we go to learn the very basics of connecting with each other and life?

Often times we go to our religious leaders and professionals to learn this but I find that many of them as they move through the motions are only learning about it themselves. So where do we go to fill in the gaps as we find ourselves falling in between the cracks?

As I search I have personally come to understand that many of us are on the path of seeking answers and asking questions. It is by asking questions that we began to sift through the many answers to find the truth that bears meaning to explain what we are experiencing and feeling.

I guess for many of us it is first overcoming our fear of learning the basics of tools that allow us to grow and cultivate ourselves. It is also through our learning and sharing with each other our amazing experiences and stories that bring an encouragement which allows others to find comfort in our trials and tribulations while sharing this earth.

It is with the great intent of love for each other that we break our ties that bind us from our fears so we may move on to greener pastures. This allows an opportunity of growth as we discover new possibilities in expanding our awareness of being.

So often we dismiss our inner voice or have it tuned out as we move forward down the path of our life journey. We forget about what it is like to feel our very own spirit and know the love and energy that surrounds us.

It is the fear that binds us and keeps us tide up from acknowledging our own inner experiences of learning. The fear of being different or strange only stops us from connecting to a higher sense of self and our higher source.

Yet, what if we cut these ties releasing our inner fears and allowing ourselves to express ourselves, as the true gifts of the spirit moves within us? What if we learn how to move on this earth without the pain and suffering that we impose on ourselves and others? Does this mean that we will have to change how we live? And to what extent does it change our lives while infecting those around us?

Each of us seem to have a purpose as we affect each other's lives with both positive and negative waves of our state of being. So here is the test. What is the tie that binds you?


The Human Condition

Now, I have done a lot of talking in my past writings about energy and working with others but now lets put the focus a little more on the home front. I call it the human condition which means that we forgot what it is like to feel our own energy and spirit.

A few years ago I was working with a wonderful teacher in Austin and he said, "that most of us have it all wrong because we have it backwards and that really we are all Spiritual beings having a human experience". " Not human beings having a spiritual experience". Of course at the time I couldn't get out of my own way to understand that.

How could that be when everything I saw and touched was so solid and real? That teacher must be nuts I remember saying as I was trying to get in touch with my true self. So like all things that I don't understand, I filed it away for a future analysis when I had more time and moved on.

I have learned since then that all things will be reviled when the student is ready so it wasn't until a year and a half later when I was working with a meditation, I had learned to feel the spirit within that I discovered the truth for myself. Doubting Thomas and I seem to share the same symptoms for the human condition.

The whole experience was quite breath taking as I could go into this beautiful mediation and began to feel my own energy. At first it was a little scary as I knew only how to pick up the energy of others but this was truly amazing to feel first hand what your own spirit feels like living in your own body.

I know it sounds weird or off the wall as your brain tries to process it but when you actual experience and become aware of your own inner being something changes inside of you. Suddenly those teacher's words were brought back to life with a light bulb attached to it.

I find it no coincidence that I started working on that particular meditation in early January as I lost my father, cousin and my 19 year old cat in mid February.
The losses were unexpected and devastating as my family and I suffered one loss after another within a weeks time.

It was somewhere in the middle of this week that I remembered the meditation and started to practice it and I was able to find a peace as I began to connect the dots between the body and the spirit once again understanding that the body is only a garment that we wear and shed when it is time to move on.

A few weeks later as a family, we were able to visit my father's grave as he died and was buried on a private ranch out in Presidio TX. I was able to walk around and feel the energy of the land where he died. I also was very aware of my own spirit, light and free yet living inside of me. It was there, as I started to feel connected that a feeling of peace rushed over me and I began to remember who I really am. I could also see how each and everyone of us are connected on this earth and in the next, as it brings a unity and healing of the self.

The loss and grief began to seep into the ground and a since of freedom of becoming the Spirit energy that we truly are overwhelmed me. As we left my Father's friends and the land, I remembered once again that my father who was a teacher in the ways of the Spirit and I had laughed at him as crazy had once again taught me a another lesson in healing.


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Bigger Picture

Moving on to the path of light and shedding the darkness has been a life's work, I think for all of us. I sometimes wonder where we would all be without the experience that we have to share with each other. I know in my own life I take great comfort when I can sit and visit with someone who has been down the same road as I am starting my own journey.

Reaching out to each other in a time of need is only the beginning of sharing what we have to offer each other. Becoming aware of the beautiful light that surrounds others when we are in the company of someone else brings a passion into our own lives. It also allows us to see the beauty in this world.

Like all the people we are so wonderfully inter woven together in this life. That through it all, even in the heartaches we are here to be together as we live and grow in our experiences with each other.

Sometimes seeing the bigger picture for our lives and relationships is not seeing it from our own perspective. It might not be seeing from someone else's either. It is from seeing with the eyes of something much bigger than what we know. And coming to understand that, changes the way we see ourselves and others.

It was someone who is now a dear friend, who pointed that out to me. It was much like a Rubex cube as the combination changes and the pattern begins to fall into place. This is what explains the matrix of relationships and the way we communicate with each other as it becomes a life of understanding and forgiveness.

It is by grasping even a small part of the bigger picture that allows us to experience something much greater then ourselves as we lift each other up.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Energy Exchange

Like the free world money exchange we also exchange energy as freely as we hand money to one another. The only difference is that we often don't see it as it is not as tangible as a dollar bill.

But like money we often find ourselves in great debt as we are not brought up to understand how to balance and handle our personal energy. I find it rather interesting that we don't teach our children how to handle energy in school but we also don't teach them how to handle money either.

So where does that leave us? In great debt. We find that often our personal relationships take up so much of our time and energy that we can be exhausted by the end or even the beginning of the day.

Personal freedom, is discovering and understanding that we do have this energy exchange going on all the time and anytime we are with someone. This is where we learn about ourselves and our own personal power. Understanding the exchange rate in energy terms changes the dynamics on how we manage our lives and care for others.

I remember a few years ago when I first became aware of this, as it had all became very apparent by working closely with the different personalities on the staff that I was apart of.

At the time I had made an acquaintance who was a Councilor and I mentioned that I could feel people's energy when I walked into a room. I had also discovered that I could physically move energy but was not really sure what it was all about. The commit that was made was that they were not sure what religion I was but some churches excepted that. I stopped in mid sentence as I realized that there was nothing else to say as the energy I was experiencing had nothing to do with what faith I was.

Energy is very simple, as I have now come to know that it can be felt by everyone. The whole key is to understand how it works as we go about our daily activities with each other giving and taking it without realizing what we are doing. You see, it is how we are created which comes naturally in the way we interact with each other.

We are preprogrammed so to speak, the only difference is if we were programed to interact in a healthy way or not. A lot has to do in with our emotional environment as we were growing up. Yes, emotions are pure energy. Nothing like having a reaction to someone or something to get the heart racing and the blood pumping both in a positive or a negative way.

What people don't see is very real. Again, this has nothing to do with your religious background but has everything to do with being human. So there we are exchanging our emotional energy with each other without taking the energy exchange course 101.

No wonder so many of us wonder what in the world happened with some of our relationships. Think about this..... a person who is very angry is demanding attention and unconsciously taking energy form someone else. They are intimidating, draining and stealing energy form the other person to make themselves feel OK or stronger. On the other side when you have an argument the loser will often feel defeated, drained or hurt in the emotional battle.

Have you ever met someone with the "poor me" attitude? And I don't mean someone who is really down on their luck but someone who milks life to get your attention. When you meet someone like this, as a compassionate person you may feel like you want to help them. In which you find yourself giving energy and parts of yourself trying to make things right for them. They are happy and fulfilled and you leave feeling used and drained.

What about the person who is not wanting to interact? This personality gains energy form others as they make others seek them out and expend their energy trying to draw them out. When the other person realizes the amount of energy they are spending they might stop, in which case will often bring the person not wanting to interact to refocus on the relationship. And why wouldn't they? As my ex boss used to say," they were getting their well filled."

The intimidater is one that I really don't like to be around. This person uses power and demands in taking another person's energy. You will find that this personality will often be a "wolf in sheep's clothing" and when you least expect it, they come out of their disguise bearing teeth. When you finish dealing with someone of this nature you feel drained and exhausted of trying to keep the energy that they are demanding.

It is important to know that even if you recognize one of these patterns in yourself and have done major work on healing that by being in an environment that has unhealthy boundaries and unhealthy energy, you may revert back to your old habits out of the need for survival. This is a "red flag" going off telling you to get out of the unhealthy environment and work on yourself so that you don't begin to drain others.

One more thing I would like to mention is that the opposite of taking energy is giving it. Love is a big one in offering a beautiful exchange of energy and giving positive emotional support to someone. Love is healing which can change lives and relationships around you.

The only difference is that it is up to you to know when it is time to move out of an unhealthy situation or hold on. Just know that you are not crazy when you feel drained and weak. Know to that when you feel well balanced and full of love that you are in a healthy emotional relationship . The choice is yours. I guess that is why they call it," free will".......


Thursday, April 2, 2009

Speaking in Love

One of the things that seems to keep coming up these past few weeks is," speaking in love." I don' t think we give much thought about it as we go along in our very busy lives. I noticed a few times I have been very aware of what was going on around me as I realized that the small act of loving someone even when I had the urge to be upset seemed to change the whole dynamics of the relationship. It can be like adding cool water to an open wound.

I think that by being conscious of ourselves when we feel we are in the right is to know that it only brings in a negative energy that can destroy another's self esteem. Our beautiful relationships with each other are too preciouses to lose to such a fate. In the end, it is the act of love that moves mountains and removes the road blocks.

Anger destroys our inner peace with ourselves and others. Notice this when you are driving, that is when this really comes out for some. It is by speaking in love that not only can change our relationships in verbal communication but also leaks out in our actions with each other.

I know when I am on the other side and someone is frustrated with me, I am also frustrated with myself, them and the situation to. It makes it so much easier to have someone who offers grace and a kind word of understanding instead of criticizing and anger.

A word in love or even laughter changes the situation from something devastating to something very human which plants seeds in all of us for becoming loving towards each other. I know that we are in the mindset of being not able to make mistakes and rise above others but when we do, we take the humanity out of being human.

It is OK to make mistakes and it is OK to find solutions on how to fix them together with encouragement. As we grow in a loving maturity we learn to make allowances for each other and we also find the comfort of touching another life and our selves by the power of our loving words and actions.

One of my teachers once told me, "Ana, when you facilitate healing for someone else, you are also experiencing a healing in yourself. It is how we are created to share in the whole experince as we walk on this earth together."

Love, Ana

Monday, March 30, 2009


I am amazed when I am talking to people just how much we don't allow ourselves any room for mistakes which makes it neat that I learned from my children's first grade teacher that it is, "OK to make mistakes because that is how we truly learn."

Wow, a first grade teacher who is explaining that mistakes are normal and to not be ashamed but it actually becomes an opportunity to back up and learn something form it.

So I don't know why but this triggers a discussion I had with my teenage children yesterday as I we were preparing lunch. My son was watching our newest member of the family an eight month old puppy follow and do exactly what our thirteen year old dog did.

His commit was, "Did you know that a monkey will not try something new unless he sees another monkey do it?" My daughter response was," that means that one monkey has to be really brave and different to try something new." His answer is yes, Monkey see, Monkey do."

So where does this bring us, you ask? I think that often we are afraid to explore and try new things because we watch others do while we sit safely aside as life passes by. That way we don't ever have to face a mistake or disappointments in our secure lives. But it is when life throws a "curve ball" that we are really tested to spread our wings and try to fly that life gets truly interesting.

Someday when we look back on our lives are we going to see the amazing things that we accomplished or are we going to see the missed opportunities?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Lesson of War

Two weeks ago in one of my dreams, I was shown the book, "The Art of War," so imagine my surprise when I was dropping books off at the library and discovered, on the audio shelf, the CD of this book. Of course I had to check it out and was aware that I was moving in unmarked territory, in a subject that I really had no interest in, so I thought.

As I got into the car I removed the CD's and fed them into my CD player I wondered again why I was listening to this. I often do a lot of driving, and listening to audio books takes the edge off of the long trips. As I listened to the historical history of the Warlords in China, I began to think, why in the world would I check out something so boring? My mind soon began to wonder as I drove but something in the back of my mind said, "just wait".

Out of the five CD's, it wasn't until I got to the middle of the second CD that a story began to catch my attention. It was about an Emperor who wanted to do a little experiment and asked a Warlord If the same tactics to train men could be used to train women. He then gave the Warlord 180 beautiful women to be trained in the art of war. The Warlord agreed as the times were desperate.

The Warlord took the Emperor's two favorite Concubines and made them Commanders. Then he outfitted them all in combat clothes and gave them weapons to fight with. After asking the women if they knew certain things about war and combat, he lined all of them together in rows and placed the two Commanders up front in charge of the group.

Next he went into an explanation of exercises and gave them directions of commands. Once he did this, he shouted out a command to face the north with weapons drawn. The ladies began to giggle and no one turned to that direction of the command. He promptly explained that it was the Commanders who were in charge and it was their duty to explain and make sure that everyone understood the commands.

To cut the story short this same scenario played out for four more times which he promptly announced that since it was the Commander's responsibility to create a harmonious team. He then ordered the two Commander's to be executed. As the Emperor saw this about to take place he sent out a prompt message, not to do this since he would lose the " pleasure of tasting his food" as I quote directly from the book.

But the Warlord responded that the Commanders had taken the office of command and responsibility and ordered the execution in front of the ladies. As the ladies looked on to such a severe display of punishment, two Senior ladies were appointed to be Commanders to take the place of the ones that were executed.

Again the Warlord lined the ladies up and went over the directions and then proceeded to shout out the commands. This time it was perfect. The women turned to the direction and followed commands in perfect unison. The new Commanders picked up on the form of leadership and provided a new order in transformation of the ladies to a well disciplined army of troops.

I sat there in the driveway, in my car, listening to the story, shocked and amazed of what I just heard. Not only was the story appalling to me but it was true. As I turned it over in my mind, I realized why this story, out of many had caught my attention, I realized that the one thing that I could identify was that when we are in the world we must be aware of our own actions and not be seduced by favoritism.

What I did see......... is that we as humans compete to be the favorite as it gives us privileges and pardons. It is because of this, that it creates a lot of fighting and competition among the leaders of organizations which in turn trickled down to the rest. This type of leadership and atmosphere becames unbalanced in the unison and flow of the one goal that we were all trying to achieve. It is then the outcome of competing to be in the inner circle which was not what leadership is all about.

While I don't agree in execution as a form of discipline to achieve this goal in TEAM work. I did see the value in taking the things that I am working on in my life, with my full attention. I am amazed that the warlords who lived thousands of years ago had this knowledge and it can still be applied to the disciplines of the self and leadership of today.


Thursday, February 26, 2009

Notes on an Empath

What is an empath? It is a person who shares great empathy with someone, something, or someplace. To me it is a little like being autistic, as the emotional and energy around people floods the senses of the person taking it all in. It can be quite overwhelming and emotional de stabling to those who are uninformed on what it is.

Being an empath is something that many people share in common and if properly informed and trained they can become very successful in the professional world. A person who uses these skills and knowledge can be quite good at reading others and the situations around them. The business world can be a whole different ball game as these talented individual use their skills. You will also find that they are are highly sought out in high profile jury selections.

Children who are exposed to highly unstable home situations develop this skill as a survival technique. These children learn quickly how to read their environment and people around them to see if it is a safe place for them to be in.

While still there are others who are just born with the door wide open and if they grow up in a family who does not understand what the child is going through, may most likely label them as highly sensitive. Gifted? You got that right, you may be dealing with a very gifted child who has the ability to read others and environments like an open book.

So often children and adults are misdiagnosed who are put on drugs and given therapy that only mask a true talent of their soul. Often these highly skilled people will turn to alcohol, television, and other forms of addiction to mute the fine tuned signals that they are receiving.

Like all gifts it is good to be exposed and trained on how to use these talents by someone who understands and can help explain what is happening. It can be an overwhelming experience if the individual can not separate their true feelings from what they pick up from others and the space around them. When I say space, I mean that energy can be held in an environment where trauma or something that has happened that stirs up the peace.

Think about it, haven't you had the experience of walking into a boardroom or a room where your senses go up and you know something has happened there? Or you may have walked into your home where your parents were fighting and you thought to yourself that something is wrong? Well then multiply that times ten and you know what it is like to be an empath.

We all agree that we are multi sensory but what do we truly know beyond our hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting, and touching? What is it about this gift of the senses that we are afraid of?

So often we contribute these behaviors as being someone who is manic depressive, but that can be measured and eliminated on a scale of testing. So that means these highly gifted individuals are often misunderstood because the rest of us are not as developed. It is we who are handicapped, as we can not see into the world past our own five senses.


Sunday, February 22, 2009

In the Mouth of Fire

A new awareness and awakening that is starting to attract a lot of attention, is in the heart of control, where there are symptoms that lead to strong roots of abandonment. It is something I think that we as a society have not really looked at as a virus that spreads like a forest fire through the fertile grounds all around us.

Often you will see it in the fight for control and power. And people who are sensitive are attracted to it like a moth to a flame. There are two main players in this game, the Abandoner and the Abandoned. A person exposed to one will often act out the other and will exhibit traits of both. But they are the key to creating unbalance and major control issues that lead to unhealthy relationships and that come into contact with the two as they fight for power and control.

As spectators, it is almost seems like attending a Gladator game, as the two forces come together as they go into a power play in the fine arts of war and seduction. Cleopatra would only be so proud. For the two players the game is a true battle of life and death and to others is only a display of bad behavior.

What truly miffs me is that we see it displayed on TV as favorite pass time games that we root for our favorite fighters as if it was something to be proud of. Our thirst for blood only dictates and encourages the fight as we enjoy watching the behavior, redeeming the winner as a strong spirited individual. And yet in reality when we are in the center of the battle we will often run for cover or chose sides hoping that our choice in a hero will be the winner as to share in the spoils of war.

I was amazed that even though we as a society teach our children not to be caught up in these events that we as adults participate and encourage this pattern of ill behavior. You see it everywhere and is considered to be "just the way people are". "Accept it and move on," as I was told by Coworker, where I worked. People are people.....

But in my search for the root of the cause of this behavior, I have discovered that Abandonment can play a big part in creating these unhealthy environments. It is something that most of us live with and may not even be aware that it exists. It is out of our patterns of brokenness that these behaviors show up and destroy lives and all those who showed up for battle.

You may often hear the phrase that "history often repeats its self". Well get out he history books and lets start looking up some of the symptoms. You may think that it was only in the past when you had to sleep with a loaded gun under your pillow but honey tread lightly when you walk into a room and turn on a light.

One of the books that I recommend is "The Journey of Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson if you are looking for material to read to help shed light on the situation.

I will talk more about it in later insights but just wanted to bring to the table how we dress up our most wounded in armor and set them up for the battle field. Nothing has changed in the past thousands of years and it is time to stop this insanity and reach out to each other. After all we are all the creations and children of something much more greater then ourselves.


Saturday, February 21, 2009

Retrieval of the Soul

The first time I mentioned Soul Retrieval to my Pastor, who was my boss at the time, who I thought I did a good job of trying very hard to compose himself as we walked down the hall that connected our offices as I poured out my heart. I was far to ignorant to give him a full explanation at the time but felt that I had been called in that direction. He was really big on being called by the Spirit but I am afraid that what I had just blurted out as a full confession was far too much for him at the time.

I had been guided and studying healing with the intention of finding a solution that not only brought spirituality back into the church but also allowed people to reconnect with themselves and the Holy Spirit. As I talked to people I became aware that we as human beings. Are often too busy to explore our spirituality and find ourselves becoming stuck when we are facing some of the realities in our own lives. I found myself guilty as charged.....

I am not saying that everyone is in this state but a good amount of us are which results in bad relationships, sickness,and sadness as we move through trying to figure out what went wrong. It was when I was given the assignment to go ahead a look for a solution that I came across Soul Retrieval. It was unfortunate for my Pastor to not know that I had been exposed to the "Warriors Way" of healing as a small child by my father when I started to search.

It was something that I had tucked away as insignificant knowledge in my mind as the teachings of someone who knew nothing of the true world. Little did I know that my journey would bring me back home and what I had learned those many years ago as I sat around the fires in the tepee during the summers and listened to my father's stories.

They were just stories to pass the time as I told myself. So why now thirty years later were people teaching the old way of healing? Why was it when I was searching myself for relief of painful relationships was I attracted to what I thought was just the imagination going wild. You see my dilemm.

But determination to find the answer was my influence and I continued on with my path. It lead me to an experience that changed my life and showed me once again that maybe my father had not been a certified nut case after all. All of his teaching had suddenly became a realization that maybe there was truth to what I was experiencing with my own spiritual experiences.

Funny, how we run away from who we really are and if we stopped and just listened, life would be so much in tune to what we were crated for. As I listened to our teacher I realized that all soul retrieval was about was finding the pieces that we lost when we give away our own personal power or taken by someone else. It was very logical and made since to my left brain that tends to sort and organize. This was what my father had taught years ago.

Soul retrieval is about post traumatic stress disorder and teaches in finding the way to retrieve the parts that were lost in a major trauma. This of course could be in a server accident, abuse, loss, abandonment, war, violence, operation, relationship or other trauma where the soul detaches itself from the body and goes to a safe place. Only apart of the soul may not return because it does not realize that the trauma is over. The person experiences not feeling complete and a loss of self. Often they will revisit the trauma over and over in their mind trying to fix it or find the piece that they are missing.

Soul retrieval is an ancient way of relocating the piece of the soul that was lost and returning it to the person who lost it. It also involves working with the person and helping them work with and through the memories of the trauma. It is considered very serious work and takes major training.

As I moved through the training and learning experience I realized that the new and the old were really the same only one was excepted in our society and the other was feared. The ancients were not really far off when they were working with healing and bringing the soul, body and mind together in balance.

To be honest it was an amazing experience. I wish I had gotten the chance to tell my dad that what he taught long ago was not bogus but something that really changes lives and heals. But for some reason I understand that he already knows as he crossed over to the other side this last Sunday.


Friday, February 20, 2009

Spirit Walking

Spirit Walking, something I learned from my father who just recently passed away when I was very young and only now have come full circle back to the roots of my past. What is Spirit Walking, you ask? Why it is when you are aware of the completeness of your own being.

Years ago as a very young girl, I walked away from the teachings of my father as I decided to go and fit in with the rest of the world. As I left my past behind to go to the university and discover what life was all about, I began to forget all the teachings that I was once held so closely in my heart.

I am not saying that this was a bad experience as I learned to become apart of the world and started a family which is a huge blessing in my life. But somewhere deep inside me there was a dark hole as though a piece was missing that always seemed to haunt me as I searched for the truth and the meaning of my life.

I tried the depths of organized religion but only found the politics and the painful side of human nature in myself and others as we tried to fit God very neatly in a tight little box. There wasn't enough room for God much less his son or spirit to even close the lid. But through the whole process I began to ever so slightly see a glimpses of the other side and as I did teachers began to show up in my life reminding me of what was once recorded in my heart.

As I am learning and having more experiences, I find that reconnecting with our Creator and who we are in spirit is something that can truly be defined. A few times when I was working at the church I became aware of having this amazing tingling sensation that moved all through me and it was later that a teacher described the sensation of being able to feel the spirit that lives inside. I remember laughing and saying you sound like my crazy dad.

But the experiences wouldn't stop and it would happen spontaneously as I was working in the kitchen or putting together fellowship events where the whole congregation would gather in celebration. The funny part is that if I stood still I felt like I would fall asleep as the warmth and sensation would move like a Swedish massage inside and outside my entire body.

The Pastor of our church at the time, used to ask me why I kept moving and what I was running from by staying so active. He had no idea what I was running form and how do you explain to someone you are having a spiritual experience when you don't even realize you are having one? It was later when I became the Healing Director, as I know that God truly has a since of humor that I began to slow down and search for the unrest inside myself.

My excuses of being busy and politics tried to keep me from coming full circle to where I started from, my past. Sometimes I think that we have the answers all along but refuse or reject them as we are afraid to grow through our own experiences. This is where true intervention comes in.

Only recently with the help of the Holy Spirit am I able to go into meditation and call on my spirit that lives inside me and feel myself as true spirit. The sensation of tingling and lightness moves again through me as my brain seems to be able to register the difference between body and soul. I am now conscious of the coexistence of both, separate but the same as it inhabits the same space I call myself.

You might think this is the best kept secret of our times but we are all capable of doing this and feeling this once we recognize ourselves as true spirit beings in a human body. We are spirit walking when we sleep, you are just not aware of it.

When you think about it in the terms of dieing, it is really about returning to what we already know and where we came from when we move back to the arms of our Creator and that is in the form of our true selves.