Saturday, November 29, 2008


Addiction can be a scary word when we think about it and associate it with alcohol, food and drugs. But addiction can be about so many other things that we never think about. Did you know that we can have addictions with people ? I think we call it Codependency.... We can be addicted to places or things.

For me I do have an addiction and it didn't come up until it showed up on a test that the Dr. was running. Lucky for me that my Dr. was nice in putting it in a mild way about it could effect my hormones. Oh yeah my addiction is caffeine. I love coffee, tea and chocolate which are both loaded in caffeine. A little bit is good for the heart but too much of anything is not good for the upkeep and wellness of the body.

You know how hard it is to be a woman living in Texas and be without caffeine? The first few days were a nightmare for my family. When I announced that I was just fine without it and decided to quite cold turkey.

Then there are the Moms who offer us a cup of coffee or tea when we visit or the friend who has a beautiful box of chocolate on the table and wants to share. Of course there are those wonderful baking friends who make these delightful desserts that have name like "Chocolate Sin" or "Double Dutch Chocolate" and have made them just for you. It is everywhere!!!!

What is eating out when you can't have a nice cold glass of ice tea? OK, I want to applaud those amazing people who stop their addictions and never look back. I am finding that for me temptation is always around the corner.

On the Sunny Side

I had to laugh at myself as I ordered a plate of eggs and the waitress asked me how I wanted them cooked. Instantly, I had a flashback of my childhood as a small child, waking up with my Dad and playing at the table while he fixed the coffee and breakfast for our family. Mom used to try to get that extra wink of sleep before getting up and caring for me and running a working ranch in Presidio, Texas. That gave my extra father time to paint and write during the day.

I used to love all the things he cooked for breakfast except when he cooked the sunny side up eggs whose yoke always ran all over my plate touching the other food and contaminating it with its yucky slime.

I am not sure what happened that day because Dad was always on my side but he and Mom decided I needed the extra protein and that I should eat my eggs. It then became a force of wills of who would win and anyone messing with a five year old knows what that is like. I sat there for at least an hour looking at those things looking back at me. Gaging on one bite and waiting for the dog who was excused from the kitchen to disobey and bail me out... Not a chance....

Next my thoughts my thoughts shot over to an expression my friend only recently told me as she was going though a though time in her life.... "Ana, How do you eat an elephant? " "I don't know," I replied. "The answer is, ONE BITE AT A TIME." This is so true with any hardships that we are faced in life.....

Then I heard the Waitress asked again, "How do you want your eggs cooked?"
"Oh," I said, "why Sunny side up of course."


Friday, November 28, 2008

Cell Memory

What is cell memory you might ask? Well, it is something I think that we all should know about because it can effect everyone of us and our relationships with others. One of the key aspects of it is that physical, verbal abuse and trauma are recorded in the body the same. Doesn't matter what actually happened it is all the same as far as the body is concerned which puts out a signal of "fight or flight".

What does this mean? Well, it means that a person who suffered any kind of trauma will often find that feeling of fight or flight when a trigger goes off in the body. By trigger, I mean that if a person, often without conscious awareness feels as though they are put in a similar situation will react. The body which has recorded that pattern of trauma will put out a signal that there is danger which sends a chemical reaction through the body. The body then recognizes the signal in the cells as a warning and reacts to the trigger.

This can mean one minute you are having a lovely time with someone and the next that person may be upset, angry or wanting to leave. The whole key is finding what caused the trigger to go off and learning more about the trauma. Once this is established then it can help both parties as a base to work through the trauma and help strengthen a relationship without feeling helpless.

I had a personal experience like this happen while I was visiting Italy this summer with my husband and family. It was when we were in Venice and I found myself surrounded by all the pigeons. Lucky for me, my husband and I had discussed it before we went to Italy that it may happen and I was prepared to deal with it as it came. He even picked the words "Blueberry pancakes" as a code word to remind me in case I needed to leave or he felt that I needed to go.

Now that sounds funny when we look back on it now but it was not then and I had to remember what caused the reaction. We had always known that I was a little nervous around birds when friends had them as pets and always asked if I wanted to hold them. But it wasn't until I was talking to my Mom on the phone one day that a memory began to pop up of an incident that happened when I was two and we were in Italy.

I remembered my Mom used to take me to Rome to do some of her shopping. And while she was looking at the beautiful merchandise that was often outside on the plaza I would let go of her hand and run around close playing with my toys. I guess it was because I was small that the pigeons would swarm all around me as they did with everyone else and land on me in large numbers. All I remember was screaming as a sea of birds covered me and my mother was running to help me.

One of the things that I found even now that has not changed are the pigeons. They are so friendly that often they crowded around you and perch.
Looking back I realized that because of the patients and caring of my husband that walking on the plaza and confronting an old childhood terror that I was able to really enjoy being with my family and moving past my fear even though I was still feeling that old feeling of flight.... No pun intended!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Shadow Self

Often when I think about the "Shadow" it reminds me of a comic book character that I used to read with all my guy friends as a kid. They even made a movie of it. It wasn't until recently that I found out that there is a Shadow and that it is in everyone walking the earth.

Of course the first reaction is "thats is not true!"......But it is the truth. In each and everyone of us, we carry a side, that is our darker self or nature. I guess it is what we would say that the devil made us do it or feel things we so often deny because we are afraid of it. But truth be known, it is something that we should not be afraid of because like the character in the comic book it has something to teach us about ourselves. 

The Shadow Self is something we cover up and push away and pretend it doesn't exist until one day we see that side of ourselves leaking out and fear creeps in that others will judge us.  I spent a few hours pouring out my own heart to an amazing healer and teacher in Taos, New Mexico, whom I had the priviledge to meet a year ago.  It was then that he stopped me in mid-sentence and told me that the Shadow that I was afraid of was the part that drove me to learn and succeed in my own life.  That without it I would have no drive and would sit somewhere quietly without the desire to move as I do.

He said, that I should look at that side of myself and honor what it had to teach me by aknowaldge that that part existed.  It is as he said, by exploring the darker half of ourselves that we can find a way to use that energy as a positive energy in our lives in motivating ourselves and others.  By accepting who we are and what we carry inside, we grow both emotionally and spiritually as we move through our lives.  

Yes, be aware that the Shadow has a negative side to it but by knowing that part of ourselves and learning about it, we tame the dragon living in all of us that can create so much good in our lives and others.

Many Blessings,  Ana

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Last night I had the honer of attending another one of Daniel's classes at his home on a meditation on gratitude. I thought this was a great idea because I felt like I had come a long way from where I was last year at this time. Plus, I was not cooking Thanksgiving dinner which everyone else was grateful for. (I am not known as a good cook) Not my thing........

As I was driving I was praying out loud that God would not place any crazy people in my space tonight and that I would be really grateful. I had had a stresser of a day and just couldn't deal with it tonight. I arrived and was warmly greeted by the host and hostess. The guest were friendly and inviting. A new friend who I have just became acquainted with was there whose name is Joseph, whom we seem to share a rich background in New Mexico.

I had asked Joseph what was his line of work was and he replied, "a teacher".
OK, "what kind of teacher?" "Oh," he said, "I teach French and Spanish". " I guess you are very fluent" I late it was already out of my mouth...... He smiled and said, "Ana, you of all people should know this from our background in New Mexico." Embarrassed I added...... "Well, I only know enough to get arrested!" His reply as the whole room had stopped to listen in..... "Then let's not tell anyone shall we".

With that Daniel started the meeting and I sat there thinking of Mark Twain and a quote that always seemed to fit. It kind of goes like this" It is better to not say a thing than to open your mouth and let everyone know how really ignorant you really are."

Daniel had decided while preparing for the class that we were going to have a group discussion instead of a mediation. Oh great...... I thought knowing that I was not feeling like talking since I had already opened my big mouth......I guess I am putting my listening ears on.........

The man next me had started a group called "Love" and as it started out I was not quite understanding him....... I was thinking, Oh yeah I asked not to sit by someone like this.......But as I started to listen the man next to me began to talk about his new mission..... "Love" a group that meets and does things for the community. He started a month ago and 180 people had joined in the cause to give their time and help others......

They just delivered food baskets for Thanksgiving on their own and his volunteers were delivering them door to door. He told of a story that at the very end they were unloading baskets and a car was driving past the group very slowly.... He had this feeling that he needed to stop the car. He did and the guy driving had his wife, kids and mother in the car, said, "I didn't do anything wrong. we just want to go home. "

He said all he knew to do was to shove the food basket through the door. The man saw what he was doing and started to cry..... some of the volunteers that saw couldn't believe the emotions that was passing between the two men. Emails later flooded the group, of people who were blessed by witnessing what took place.

All the man could say was the gratitude he felt that the man excepted his gift. By doing that it completed the circle of the two being grateful to each other.
Another women began to talk and open about a relationship she had and how God had shown her that by looking at the heart of this other person's soul she could see the love that this persons had for her even though this person had been very tough on her.

The whole evening went on like that story after story and I sat in my silence I realized that I was grateful that I was allowed to sit among the giants.


The Other Side of Fear

I met Daniel a few weeks after I left my position at a small church as the Healing Director. I was searching for a missing piece of myself. I had been invited to one of his workshops on Meditation and really felt no urge to go but as the week went by I was feeling more and more of a pull in that direction.

"OK," I yelled as I woke up that morning and asked my very sleepy husband to drive me because I was only going to poke my head in the door see what they were doing and leave. As usual it didn't quite go as planned. Daniel saw me and invited me in to join the class. I don't know when it actually happened but I began to relax and become my true self as we went though the meditations.

Later after class, I asked him if he taught any other classes. "Yes, a few and one you might like to try" "Oh yeah?" I asked.... " Yes, he said, "the class dealing with your personal fears and in the end you have the chance to walk on a hot bed of coals." "Oh, Not my thing!" I remembered saying.........

A month later there I was signed up and sitting in his "Fire Walking" class. Wondering how it happened. The only thing was that the place that was hosting the walk had not come though so we were not able to fire walk that day but walking on broken glass barefoot, breaking an arrow with the tip at your soft part of your neck and breaking a board with your hand was offered.

I listen intently as he gave the seminar during the day knowing full well, I was going to bow out of participating in the thrill seekers part at the end. In my family I am the cautious one. I hold everyone's coat at Six Flags.... Not me, I was just taking the part of the class that dealt with your fears.

He explained that "Fear is all about being a little uncomfortable. Mostly it is a new experience that we have no data on so we become fearful but once we get past it we look back and realize that it was a valuable lesson in our lives. Fear is what challenges us to grow in all aspects of our lives and only we have the power to change it inside our selves."

I remember him handing out the hard board and me knocking on it with my knuckles and feeling how hard it was. I guess, I made a face because he stopped the class and said," Ana, What was that face you made?" Tell me what you are thinking". "Great! I am thinking, now I can tell everyone that I don't think that I can do this"..... All eyes on me face giving me away....

My answer went like this...... "Well,.... I guess I am afraid?"......... "What if I fail?" "Close your eyes," he said "and see yourself standing at the board and see your hand moving though the board and stopping at the other side." I am very visual and this came up in a flash. "I see it" but..... but.... I guess I doubt it? ...... Then he, shouted to the class..... "let's go out and break some boards!" A hand on my shoulder and a words of encouragement "Ana, you can do this, you need to trust yourself."

Well, I love gentleman, all the women went first and broke their boards and I was the last one standing with all eyes on me again. I walked up like I was facing the gillitien and placed my board between the blocks and with the count of one, two, three, my hand sliced through the board like butter. The walking on glass and breaking the arrow with my neck were all the same. Me being the last but each a success. There were a few that did not have the some luck but I think my Angels who must of felt like I needed the extra boost that day.

Now, when I am faced with fear in my heart. I know I can move though it and it is all about trying something new and being a little uncomfortable because success what is on the other side of fear.


The Dark Night of the Soul

I don't know if it is true in your house but in my house when someone mentions the "Dark Night" the word Batman seems to follow. Well, this is something quite different when it comes to the experience of the human soul. No, it is not a bad thing but a description of what it is to be totally alone.

Usually it comes at a point of your life when you and your soul are making a major transition and sometimes you feel like you were abandoned by everyone including God. It is a time of trail and reflection with in your own being. Often people will not be able to sleep or feel depressed because they feel completely alone. What got my attention when I have read about these cases and even felt that on a lesser level that it is when inspiration, creativity and art are born out of the experience.

I was talking to my teacher and she said" Ana, think about this when you go into a sweat lodge and you are in the dark pulling out all your impurities and praying that true inspiration will hit. It is also when you leave the darkness of the lodge and return to the outside with the sun hitting you in the face that you feel apart of something much more bigger than yourself. It is a time of inner reflection. A feeling of being new again because you have faced your deepest fears."

Wow, when you look at it that way then facing our fears in our lives and deep in our soul ,it is not a bad thing but a way of renewing and remembering that even though we feel completely alone God never abandons us even when we can't hear him. He is and will be always be with us.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Power of the Human Dream

The term to "dis-em-power someone" is a term that I really never gave much thought about as I was going though my everyday life. At least it wasn't until I heard about this wonderful teacher whom I wanted to take classes from.

That morning I was excited about meeting with this person in my life and discussing some of the exciting things that were happening, along with finding when the class was to start up so that I could began to learn.

I think it was in the beginning of the conversation that she brought up the term "dis-em-powering" someone else. What was that? My thoughts quickly turned over to someone being held down on a Karate mat...Then she explained that it was "taking someone else's power away."

She used me as an example, that I had come to her with a dream that I felt very called to do and wanted her blessing and to know if I was doing it right. Her answer was that, "if it was what I felt in my own heart, that the way I did things were what I was to do to make it happen, then I should continue on my journey in life, because I knew what was best for me, in that situation for what I was called for.

Then she said "Ana, What if I told you that you were doing things all wrong?"

"Of course," I said, "I would stop and then I would not put my words into action."
"Well, then all those people who would benefit from your dreams would lose out because I took your power to make it not happen." "Look what happens when you give your power away or someone else takes it from you." "The joy is gone and everyone loses in the end."

I think it was then, that I realized how humbling it was to hold someone else's heart in your hand and that words could make or break someone else's dreams when they looked up to you. In all the different roles that we play as parents, friends and different family members our responsibility are massive in in-powering each other to be successful in life as opportunities arise. Most of the time we don't even realize that we hold something precious in our hands.

I went away with a reflection of myself and what my own actions and intentions were with the ones that were placed around me, in my life. Also who it was that I give my own power away to.

Blessings, Ana

The Space Between the Lines

What is the space between the lines you ask? Why it is life..... What else would it be? I love this phrase even the first time I heard it. I realized that there is more to life and relationships than just the solid line of commitment. There were all the spaces that were not filled in on the whole sheet of paper.

It is what it is... the space between the musical notes written on a page, when played it fills the air creating music. It is the whole story of a life with all it's passion, love, inspirations and hardships that create a book of an individual.

It can also be a feeling or gut reaction that inspires you to hold out your hand to a friend in need. It is what being human is all about. The Spaces between the lines.........


Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Butterfly Story

Once I was visiting a dear friend who has a amazing gift for healing and we were discussing what it was to help people in their struggles of life. I was expressing my idea that was to get in there and roll up my sleeves and help them get though the whole mess by walking side by side with them on their path of hardship.

She thought for a moment....... Then she said..... I want to tell you a story about an old man and a butterfly. OK, I was in for a story. Well, she said, I don't remember where I got this from but I feel it is a good time to share it because I think it will help you with helping others.

Once there was this old man who was in the garden and he found this worm who he knew would turn into a beautiful butterfly. So he took the worm into his house and put it into a terrarium. He was so happy and he went out and got all the best leaves for food and made sure that the worm was warm and well cared for. Everyday he would watch it and feed it and take great care to meet all its needs.

Then one day the worm began to spin it's cocoon. Again the old man took pains to see that the cocoon was in a safe place. Then one day he saw that the cocoon had a crack in it and the butterfly inside was struggling to get out and be free. He very carefully placed it in his hands and helped it in its plight to get out of its cocoon.

Finely it was set free and the butterfly began to spread its beautiful wings to fly but something happened and as the old man was gently holding this amazing creature in his hands it began to die. It struggled and soon gave up and died in his hands.

She stopped there and said "Ana, sometimes when we help people too much we push the ones we love off their intended path in life and without the struggle and pain they never reach their full potential and strength to do as the Creator has made them for. By helping to much we are not blessing but hurting them in their journey.

It was then that I remembered hearing a Teacher say, " A Healer does not actually heal a person but facilitates in the process of teaching another person how to find the power inside themselves to heal. "

The Souls of the Feet

Last week while I was having tea at a friends house she was telling me about how sensitive the soles of the feet are. Knowing that she had spent time in New Mexico learning about herbs I decided to listen to what she was saying with an open mind.

"No, really", she said! "Try this sometime by taking fresh garlic that you cut up and rub it on the bottom of the feet. In a few hours you will be able to taste it with your tung."

Of course it wasn't until I woke up the next morning at 4am that the thought that came to me that how many times had I heard that in the Bible that not only did they wash their feet but also smudge oils or different kinds of herbs on the bottom of their feet.

Could this not only be a way to care and cleans the feet but actually a way of caring for the whole body as a whole? I have heard stories of people in the past putting Vicks on their children's feet when they had a cold and it would help them breath betters.

If our feet are that sensitive then by not caring for them properly can have an effect on the whole body. Wow, this puts Athlete's foot in a whole other category......... What is in the inside of our shoes? What about foot powders and sprays?

Things that make you go Hmm

Friday, November 21, 2008

Soul Separation

There is something you may have heard of but might not really paid attention to and that is soul separation or better known as soul loss. Let's get into the term and what it means before you decide that it is something scary.........

Soul loss is about having a dramatic experience or trauma that makes you feel like you have lost something of yourself. Have you ever said, " I don't feel like myself today"? Maybe you said," I am just not all here"?

Now with that in mind, think about an experience or situation where you gave away your personal power or someone else took it. Maybe something happened to you that was really bad. It doesn't matter whether it was a physical experience or an emotional experience the body records it all the same.

If you talk to someone who has been physically abused or emotionally abused the body is taking notes on the whole experience and as the drama plays out a little piece of the soul will often times separate from the body to go to a safe place to escape the pain to survive. This process is called soul loss and has been recorded by millions of Therapist and Psychiatrists around the world.

There is nothing unnatural about it because it is the way we were created to survive by the great Creator Himself. When a piece of the soul separates from the body sometimes it returns and we began to move though the pain to heal so that we can deal with what happened to us. But often times it does not come back and we feel pain and loss when we revisit the trauma or we simply don't remember what happened.

It is because of the latter that we need to find someone who can journey back with us to the trauma and help us find ourselves so that we can begin the healing process. Once this happens we will begin to feel like we are whole again and our loss of personal power will start to mend. Self esteem will grow and feeling that we have purpose and will to do as we were created.

If for any reason that you feel like you have lost a piece of yourself to someone or a situation don't blow it off but honor yourself by aknowledgeing that this has happened and find someone who can help you. You will be much more of a Blessing to loved ones and others if you are

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Food and Digestion

Did you know that the way you are feeling when you eat can effect the way your body digests your food? I am not kidding you. It is true! How many times has anyone been in a bad mood or angry with someone and felt bad after eating?

Now wrap your mind around this.... When you pray over your food or bless the food you are about to eat with a sincere attitude then you are changing the molecular structure of your food that will be more compatible to your digestion. Of course this means if you are in a better mood.

Makes you think about eating when you are not in a compatible mood......

Feeling good about yourself and others along with blessing the food will help you digest and will do a better job feeding your body. All this will help you be all that you can be as you walk though this world....

Blessings, Ana

The Gift of Intention

I love this time of year because we are all getting ready for the holiday shopping to give gifts to the many people in our lives. And all of this has me thinking of the many type of gifts and the many meanings that are attached to them. We give gifts this time of year because of the Spirit of the season, but do we stop and think about what the intention is behind the different gifts we give?

Now lets change the meaning of the season over to a deeper perspective...... We give gifts to people because we love them. We give gifts to people out of guilt. We give gifts to people to get something back. We give gifts to people to get out of things and say I am sorry. We often give gifts to others for the main purpose of tying some type of payment from the other person or we just feel sorry for them.....

The whole idea of gift giving is what is inside the heart. The intention as one of my Teachers tells me, "what are the true intentions behind a gift?"
Is the gift something of value and meaningful to form the heart of the person who gave?

The true value of the gift is what is in the givers heart. The intention of the gift. That is what will

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Emotional Energy

OK, yesterday I was talking a little about vibrations and how they effect us and what we are sending out which includes emotional energy. What is emotional energy? Why it is the energy attached to an emotion? Confused?

When you look at it this way........ All emotions have energy that makes our body react to someone or something. It can also effect the way people perceive us. (So far so good) Again a lot like vibrations. This energy can be so powerful because it can motivate us to move and change things. Go ask Pancho Villa....

These emotions can cause invisible waves that can be sent to others or to situations. If bad, you might know this as "stirring the pot" and often it can sway or cause damage to a situation or person. Emotions of love can cause the receiver to feel really good or be annoyed with someone. Either way these emotions are sending out signals.

When I was a little girl and I was living on a ranch. My dad taught me about working with the animals. I learned that if I carried fear in my heart it was immediately sensed by the animal and it would react. If there was trust and love in my heart the animal sensed that to.

One day my dad took me to a place where he had a cardboard box and inside was a rattlesnake. He asked me if I wanted the snake to live or die. The choice was mine. I have a great fear of snakes and my first thought was to kill it. Then the thought of why should my fear have anything to do with the decision of life and death over this animal and we lived on a ranch. Live,,,,, was my decision.

Dad said for me to stand back and to watch. He put the box on it's side and the snake went into a coil.... It was preparing to strike and as I watched my father reminded me of my fear and he squatted down and began to talk to the snake. He told it "that it was free to go and that we were not going to hurt it." He also said that " We respected the snake's life and would live on the same land as neighbors". As I watched the snake slowly uncoiled and finely slithered off into the bush. My Dad said that "it was the love in the our hearts of another living creature which the snake understood". Even a rattlesnake!

Though this experience and many more that just happen day to day on a working ranch I learned that what I carried in my heart is also picked up by the heart. This I found later in working with others in an office situation. People and animals pick up the invisible waves of energy though their bodies.

Please know that emotional energy can get stuck in our bodies and can cause all kind of physical problems and illness. You must take care to check on this if you are in a very stressful situation or other.........

I often wonder why we don't teach this in school when we teach the

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I just learned that often we leave relationships when the two souls no longer vibrate at the same level. Thank about it, we either vibrate higher or lower or the same as someone else and when the vibes changes so does the relationship.
This is also true with situations that we find ourselves in. Awhile go, I had the experience of feeling like the song "Angel Flying Low to the Ground" and the energy was being sucked out of me. The situation was very bad for me and every time I left I would renew and could fly again but would come back into that situation and then felt drained and low.

Once I left the situation and the relationships that were holding me down my spirit began to soar. Now, I am once again experiencing flight and beautiful and amazing people that seem to vibrate on the same level have come into my life giving me wings again to spread out and fly.

Yes, we all have our days that we are down but when we leave those lower vibes and move into the higher levels our souls become inspired and once again God opens the doors for us once again. So if someone in your life is leaving , or you are leaving that relationship remember that is is jusst the way god created us and it is OK. someone or some situation is waiting just around the corner to connect with your vibration.

I love, what one of my Teacher's says........ 'Ana, always stay on the high road"
she meant stay in the higher Vibrations....... "Smile"

Blessings, Ana