Friday, January 30, 2009

The Inner World

Often we will find that we have so much going on in our lives that we don't realize that we need to take some time and check in with our inner being. This means connect with our souls and with the Creator. We spend so much time worrying about things that can only cause stress and hardship on our poor minds and bodies.

No wonder we feel like we are warn out over stressed and tired. Something to remember to is that our bodies, mind and souls are very much connected.

Emotional Awareness

Emotional awareness is something that we all have in common. Something that we all feel in the energy around and above us and yet as we pick it up on others we find that we have it in ourselves.

One of the things that I am learning is that we express our emotions often without our awareness and as others pick it up and we realize what is occurring. Once we notice it, it can be hard to bring that form of energy back into our energy field. This means that people are reading our emotional feelings and we feel exposed like an open book.

The part that we need to be OK with is that we are human beings and as such it is OK to have emotions. Also we need to know that others have the same experiences and understanding of this. With this in mind we need to allow ourselves to feel, instead of blocking off our feelings so that we don't explode later and maybe hurt the ones we most care about.

Let the emotion come but be aware of it and as you let yourself feel its energy allow your mind to analysis why this has popped up and know that often this is not bad. It is just your body warning you that you need to take time out and see what is out of balance. Often after going through your personal check list you can discover the source and what was in your personal history that has bought this emotion on.

When you discover this then you have the key to releasing that emotion and freeing yourself of ... I call it self abuse. We all do it and most of the time we are not aware that we are the ones creating chaos in our own lives. Again the way we were created

Healing in the Workplace

One of the things that we all might have run into is dysfunctional behavior in the workplace. If you have ever experienced this then you know how it affects your life at home and the people you hold dear to you. It is unfortunate that we can't leave work at work and home at home.

If this is something you are dealing with, then don't think you are alone. One of my teachers says that most people have a pink elephant in the room and everyone pretends that it is not there. Of course this only adds to the dysfunction of the office environment. If any of you have watched the show on TV "Office" and related to it then you know what I am talking about.

Alright here is the deal.... Why not change it so that we are no longer creating chaos and pain as it trickles down to others who are affected in our homes and families?

I believe that we first have to stop pointing fingers at each other and realize that maybe we are part of the problem. I think if we can do that then there is a chance to heal.

Next it needs to be brought to the attention of others. This maybe hard since people are often in fear of being back stabbed or hurt. That means it may be time to bring in professionals who can work with the staff as a whole or on a single basis. By doing this you will have a better chance of pinpointing the problems creating certain situation.

It is important to know that each individual has their own personal baggage form their past which will influence the way that they perceive things. This might mean that personal counseling might need to be added to the intervention of the whole office. Along with having compassion for those who are hurting.

After this is done then the Office and support Staffs need to be retrained in healthy ways to deal with situations and issues that might arise. Often the dysfunction is due to not being properly trained this area. Proper training and boundaries can help solve so many of the problems that contaminate the office and staff environments.

Of course that also means that management needs to be retrained in dealing with all the situations that will occur and have a list of recommendations of how to hold the office staff accountable for their actions. Many times poor management will encourage bad behaviors due to not being strong in upholding the boundaries and regulations of the workplace.

Last is holding each other accountable with compassion that each individual has a right to feel safe and a right to be heard will create a more healthy way of solving problems for the future and will not be carried home to the ones we love.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Spirit Filled

I am writing this as an Ah Ha moment. You know when the light turns on and someone is home. Well, I was able to have one of those special moments as I was working on some things at home.

I am not going to tell you that I thought of it all on my own as to it being inspired by a book along with my own experiences that put a mystery together that I have been trying to crack for years. It is about those who are what we call Spirit Filled.

Just to clear things up we are all capable of this because it is our birth right as human beings to be in contact and communication with God. But often we go to others seeking advise and guidance for this, like for example, our Religious leaders, Spiritual leaders, Teachers, Gurus and others........

I also learned that we or the person we are following can be spirit filled when the message is being delivered. There seems to be a deep understanding with our souls that the message is pure.

Now here is the problem........ You have to look at the individual or yourself because after the message is delivered, the person goes right back to being who they were before the message was delivered. That means that any personal baggage or controlling issues then that wont change until the person who is channeling the Holy Spirit gets help or starts to work on themselves.

Which means that the vessel or channel need to be as clean as possible so that there is no contamination and infection that is transferred. It is like drinking cool mountain spring water out of a dirty cup.

No I am not saying that a person needs to be perfect to be Spirit Filled but needs to be working on their past issues that can cause harm to others. If you look at past history with spiritual leaders

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Presence

When I turned 18 my mom and step dad had saved up all their pennies to take our family on a week vacation to Jamaica for the summer. Not only were we going but they saved enough for my little sister and I to each take a friend.

I can't tell you how much fun we had as my parents seemed to spare no expense. As we enjoyed a week of exploring the island and running around, I thought to myself that for some reason I was supposed to be here.

This brought me back to a memory of when I was nine and our music teacher taught us a song in school called "Mary Ann". She told us about Jamaica and how the song was created. At the time I remember thinking, someday I am going to Jamaica. I had no doubt that I wouldn't go, so when my parents announced that we were going I knew some place in my heart that was where I was supposed to be.

Needless to say that we had a wonderful time on our vacation and like all trips ours came to an end. As we were sitting on the plane waiting to take off, my friend had fallen asleep, so I had some time to myself to look around the cabin since we were scattered all over the flight.

It was in that moment that I felt afraid of the plane taking off. It was a panic and fear that seemed to wash over me. The only way I could describe this feeling is the metaphor of jumping into a swimming pool in the middle of winter. It was the shock of this icy cold feeling moving through me that literally froze my bones down to my inner core.

Then as quickly as the fear took a hold of me. I felt a presence that I could not see bush across my body and as it did, the fear started to be replaced with this feeling of warmth. Then a knowing came to me, that everything was going to be alright. At that moment the plane started to taxi down the runway and as it lifted into the air I was in a mental and physical bliss. The peace that washed through me only added to my since of knowing that when it was my time to leave this old earth that this was what it would feel like.

The only reason I bring this experience back up is because last October I flew to LA to visit my little sister and her family. I was in a hurry and so my dear husband made the seating arrangements that was by the window. As I was sitting on the plane waiting for it to taxi, my hand for some reason hit the side of the plane and the whole side seemed to move, which seemed to me like it was caving in where the window was.

Yes, I immediately became panicked since flying is not my favorite way of getting around. The fear that started to move through me was almost the same that I experienced on the trip form Jamaica. Only this time it was stopped in mid stream. Again a flood of peace moved over the fear and washed it out along with a knowing that it was not my time.

This stayed with me through the middle of the flight until I hit the side of the plane again which started the whole process over. I guess the older I get, it is harder to convince me that things are going to be OK.

When I finely got to LA my sister asked me how my flight went and as I started to tell her about my experince, she quickly shut me down. My brother in law feels the same way I do about flying and his job takes him on lots of trips. And how do you tell about this experience without telling the whole thing?

All I know is that for a few times in my life, I have felt like I was cradled in the hands of our Creator and for a brief time in my life there was NO doubt that He exists.


Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Warrior Within

Spiritual knowledge I found seems to be knowing the true warrior within. It is learning all about the self and finding the weakness with out curshing the soul.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Divine Intervention

In the Spring of 2008, I woke up one morning and yes, it was after I broke my rose colored glasses. I found myself in a state of half sleep and half awake. I have learned since then, that this state has a name called, "twilight". As I was laying there on my bed I started to scan the room and noticed to that my husband was still sound asleep.

It was then, that I also noticed that there were two extremely tall figures standing on my side of the bed. I guess you might think that I would panic only they were emanating this beautiful light. As far as I could tell they were not made of solid mass. As I laid there watching them, one of them handed a picture frame to me and said, "look at this". Instantly I recognized the voice that I had heard through out my life and so I took it in my hands and looked.

At first the picture in the frame was empty. Then as I looked, I saw myself working in the church and running around being very busy. One of them pointed to the picture and I heard "See this?" "This is not what it is about".
Instantly the frame went blank.

Next, I saw myself again in the frame only this time I was at the University where I was taking a jewelry class. I was busy working on my newest project and seemed very happy. Again, I heard, "See this?" "This is not what it is about".

About what? I remember thinking.... What are they talking about? Then the picture went blank and started up once more showing me myself, only this time I was at home cleaning and working around the house doing housewife things.
The voice said, "See this?" This is not what it is about."

Then they took the frame away from me..... It was then that I heard another voice that didn't seem to belong to the other two and it said, "Ana, Come with me and let me show you what it is all about." OK, that was it!.......Fear had griped me and I said, "NO"! there was a pause and I heard, "Ana, let go of these things for this is not what it is all about."

"NO!" "I said to them, I will not go with you and I am perfectlly happy where I am and what I am doing!" "Let me be!" The voice that I knew said, "She is not ready." And I heard the voice form the one that I couldn't see say, "Get her ready." Ready? Ready for what? I was thinking as the two beings seemed to fade form my sight.

I turned immediately over and woke up my husband giving him a full account of what just happened. I told him they wanted to get me ready, but for what???? My mind started to race and I thought, Oh no, I am going to die. Oh, they want us to move far away. We are all going to die???? What is going on? Steve spent a few hours calming me down and I finely was able to move past it a little to get on with my day and life....

It was within a few months that my Professor and I who were friends seemed to become a little distant in our friendship. In fact the whole experience made me realize that it was time to move on. So I decided not to sign up for another course in jewelry at the University.

Soon after, that summer we had gone with our family on vacation and again I had another encounter with one of the beings only this time reminding me that it was not good for me to be where I was working and it was time to leave. I dismissed it, and went on with my family trying to enjoy myself. Not knowing what to expect when we returned home.

After recovering from jet lag form our trip to Italy. I came back to work at the church and something was not right. In fact my life became a living nightmare as I tried to integrate back into my work. Only things were not working out even as I tried to ignore it and continue with what I was doing. Things became so bad that I had to leave my position within the first few weeks of returning.

It was a few months after recovering from that painful split that I realized that what I had been through was not something that just happened. This was an intervention of the Divine. I can tell you now that even through my stubbornness that I can learn. I didn't wait around for the third thing to happen.

Also, now looking back and I am truly grateful for all the amazing friends, family and teachers who picked me up off the floor and helped me move thorough this process. Through it all, I have learned that we are never alone in this world even when we think that we are. There are those who love us and guide us even when we can't see or want to change.

I know to, that God, the Creator has a plan and we are all apart of His plan. I see to that fear and being comfortable in our ways can stop us form making a change. This is something that we as human beings do not like doing but it is amazing to me that when we are not on the path we are supposed to walk that the Divine will intervene and set us straight.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Rose Colored Glasses

If you have ever worn a pair of rose colored glasses then you know where I am heading in this entry. Unfortunately for me, mine fell off a year ago last February and shattered into a million pieces. I would like to tell you that I was much happier then when I had them but that was not the case. The only difference was, when I didn't want to deal with something I just put them on and things seemed to be just fine.

I am not going to lie to you and tell you that I was happy that they were broken because I spent hours trying to super glue them back together. You seem to only get issued one pair when we come into this life and I had taken very good care of mine. I know that many had lost or broken theirs when 911 happened but mine were still in very good condition.

As I looked around and discovered the things that I didn't want to face were still out there. I started to see and envy others who still had their glasses. Truly this was unjust as I began to notice the things around me that were not what they seemed under the influence of the glasses. Now not only did I have to face the reality of the truth. I had to deal with others who wore their glasses.

Talk about a double whammy. This is like going cold turkey with a major addiction. Fortunately for me, I had a few of my friends and teachers who had gone though this initiation and they were able to pull me out of the fire. For the first five months I thought I was going insane as I had to allow myself to see and experience things around me that I knew were out there but was afraid to see.

I would say that the closest people around me who knew about the loss of the glasses understood the fear that I was experiencing and helped me move through that time in my life. Those who did not, wore their glasses and went though their everyday existence as though nothing had changed.

Now looking back and having survived that whole experience I find that I am more in tune with my life and the world around me. I could even go as far to say that things taste and feel better to me then they did before. I realized to, that breaking my glasses was the best thing that could have happened in my life for now I am really free to experience it the way that we were intended to.


The Wounded Dove

I sometime think that when we are trying to attain goodness we often fail due to the lack of self awareness. It seems to be in our human nature to go off on a rabbit trail, become distracted by somebody or forget what we were trying to do in the first place. I know that when I look at my own life and those around me I see so many of the wounded doves.

I use the term wounded because it seems to fit those of us in life, who are trying to strive for healing and higher wisdom. We learn to that sometimes it takes falling off the pedestal and stumbling though the darkness to discover the light switch. This process is then followed by picking ourselves back up off the floor and dusting ourselves off. It is then as we recheck our wounds and find that maybe higher wisdom is not climbing back up on the pedestal in the first place and especially in the dark.

But for some reason in the human experience we find ourselves back in the same predicament as before only under different circumstances. Yes, I know it is the same record over and over again. Time for a different we say, as the monotony continues. Insane, you think, as you look upon the situation from the outside.

So what is it in our lives that cause us to fall for the same old trick over and over again? Maybe by living though the monotony of the process that we began to see that we have the power to change the situation. If this is the case then we will move though a rebirth of change and the insanity will cease.

I sometimes wonder how the solution of something can be so simple yet hard to attain. By looking at every angle it seems very logical to stop but the since of familiarity seems to be the thing that sabotages this whole process. Yes, you got it....knowing what is on the other side, seems to win over the fear of doing something different.

This means that by continuing the path of doing it over and over again, we finely somewhere down the road get it. Giving us the opportunity to make that change and move on. The whole trick is to discover the pattern, learn what you can and become conscious so as not to repeat the mistakes.


Energy Pirates

What is an Energy Pirate you ask? Well, it is someone who steals your energy when you are not looking. "Smile" We as humans know that we carry energy and that sometimes it can feel a little depleted. If we really didn't believe that, then there wouldn't be this large market for energy drinks, energy bars, and vitamins etc.... that we buy into trying to get our energy back.

OK, we know that being tired, bad diet, no exorcise and feeling stressed are just to a name a few of how we lose our energy. But did you know that others can steal your energy? It is true! Have you ever been with someone who after you spent some time with them, you feel like you have to go home and take a nap?

Well, this person whether conscious or unconscious is draining you of your vital essence. They are connecting with you on an energy level by being in your energy field and sucking the life out of you.....Another term you might have heard is Energy Vampire.

The first time I heard of it I thought it was funny, until I remembered someone I used to know and when this person came to visit, right after they left I had to go lie down for a few hours. Don't get me wrong, it was someone in my life that I really liked and I am sure had no idea what was going on. But when they left they felt really good, full of energy and I was drained.

It makes since when you are around people a lot. We all have energy fields that surround our bodies. You can call it what you will but it is there in form and color. The only thing that seems to be worse is, if you are already low on energy and that person comes around. Then you are more susceptible to illness because your energy helps with your immune system.

Please, also know that this works to, the other way around. You can take someone else's energy and not know it. You just have to be aware of what is going on when you are with someone. Most of the time people have no clue that this energy exchange is going on but it is real and can effect how you feel.

Here is something to just think about, is when you are with someone and you both do not feel tired by being together. In fact you both may feel really good and energized by hanging out. This means that the two of you are equal and well balanced in the energy fields and that you are both healthy.

So what does this mean? it means that if someone in your life is draining you of your vital essence you may need to do a self check and see where you might have holes in your energy field. This is not a bad thing but is good to know that you have might have a little self care to take care of. You might also limit your time with someone who is doing that. I doubt telling them that they are doing it will help. It might even insult them, again most people have no clue.

Knowing yourself is the best defense against Energy Pirates. Understanding your limitations and what you need, to care for yourself will help prevent this from happening to you. Also, if you are doing this to someone else it is a good time to check and see why you are doing it.

So I leave you with this...... Being aware of the energy around yourself and the people you are with, will help you make better decisions when you are in certain relationships. Learning what drains you and not pushing it aside will also help you find solutions for feeling good and living a healthier life.


Monday, January 19, 2009

The Body of the Spirit

I think no matter who we are there is a feeling of wanting to be connected not just to each other but to something much bigger then ourselves as human beings.And if you really look at it, then it seems that since we are conscious of our minds,and body then it is our spirit that we really need to began to understand.

I was in a healing group this past weekend and was listening to the people around me talk. One lady spoke up and said that she felt that there is so much more to healing then just medication. She did state that while she was not against Western medicine and it certainly had it's own place in healing. She felt that people need to know that there are other things that our culture has forgotten about that can be used or along side our Western medicine to help promote healing.

At lunch I had the privilege to talk more about this and in the conversation it came up about the spiritual body. OK, if this is not something you have heard of then you need to know that the spirit like your physical body, has a body or form. It is not made up of muscle, blood or soft tissues but it is made up of different kinds of energy.

Ever hear of the electromagnetic energy field? Well, this type of energy likes to hang out a few inches around your body. It outlines your body and is heavily influenced by what you are thinking or doing. So if you are feeling really bad about someone then it is in that energy field and if you really like someone then it to is also in that field. If you ever come in contact with someone in love and when you are around them you can't help but sense that feeling. You are picking up that energy field...

The next part of the spiritual body because it comes in layers like the physical one. Is the

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Breath of God

I was told that the word for spiritual in Latin means breath. I thought that was kind of funny since that was what first touched me and lead me down a path to find it.

One of the times that I remember being conscious that the breath was tied into something special was when I learned how to knit in my early thirties. A dear friends was over visiting and she was showing me some of her handy work on some afghans that she hand knitted for Christmas gifts for that year.

I decided after she left that I should take a class as it would be an excellent way to make afghans for the children's beds. I found someone in town who taught knitting so I began to learn. The first week I did nothing but practice over and over until I got it right.

It was a few months later as I was working on my second afghan, I noticed that I was holding my breath on certain stitches and letting out on others. I also became aware that the breath followed the same pattern that I was knitting. OK, there are only two stitches when knitting and there are only two when breathing, in and out.

As I became aware, I started to count my blessing in life with the breaths and released my tension as I exhaled. My mind then became occupied with the pattern as it seemed that another part of me counted my blessings with each breath. It was amazing as I started to feel a warmth of love spread over my body as it moved though me and outside of me. The feeling also started to pore and flow into my hands as I worked on each stitch.

I remember that there was a feeling that I was connected to everything and I felt apart of a kind of love that was much bigger than the usual love that we feel for others. This love was in all things, even the things that we as humans don't consider alive. It was huge..........

The only other time in my life that reminds me of that experience was when I was 16 and my Grandmother was in an unhappy mood and what I was doing at the time only seemed to aggravate her more. Don't get me wrong, we were very close but on that day we were both angry at each other and I was on the verge of stomping off when an emotion like a soft breeze swept over me.

I remember it touching my skin and moving not just on the outside but moved though me. The anger was immediately gone and was replaced with this enormous amount of love for her. Only for a few seconds, I could see into her heart and the pain that she carried. The anger that I felt was truly gone and compassion and understanding for my grandmother soaked and saturated my inner being.

I never lost that feeling for her for the rest of my life. What ever happened that day must have been recorded in my soul and my cells because when ever we were on the verge of disagreement, anger was never in the equation when it came to her. People always knew we had a special bond but they never knew how special it really was. I can't ever explain it, but even in the separation of death we are still connected.

I now call it the "Breath of God". I wish it was in all of our relationships and experiences but like everyone else I went though all the trails and tribulations of emotions in the rest of my relationships. You would think I would learn. Only now as I reaccount my memories I am aware that those experiences could have changed my life path had I stayed conscious then.

These experiences of feeling connected later come in short bursts of energy though out the rest of my life but nothing like what I experienced with my grandmother. A year and a half ago after searching for healing, I started to search for the root of this experience and so far the path keeps leading me back to the breath of God.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Emotional Predator

I was having a wonderful conversation with a very good friend this past week and the term Emotional Predator came up. I had not heard this term before so I asked her what it was. She replied that, "it is someone who preys on others, who are emotionally weak."

Of course this did not quite answer my question and I had to know more. "Well," she said, "people who have had traumatic lives or carry some kind of emotional pain can be considered easy targets for this kind of predator. "

"It is just as you see it on the "Animal Channel" where the predator stalks its prey for some type of personal purpose. They look for the weakest in the people who are around them that are suffering or hurt and they charm their victims into believing that they can meet their needs."

"All of us who have children tell our kids to not talk to stranger or go with someone who has a puppy. But who tells the adults to do the same when a emotional predator is at large? "

"Words in our vocabulary such as Con Artist, Liar, or Deceiver are only a few names that describe this predator. This type of personality preys on the sympathy and the emotional needs of their prey. They are looking for ways to manipulate their victim so that the outcome benefits themselves. The only problem is that the victim believes that they are being loved or helped to find out later that they were being used."

"Sometimes this type of relationship can cause detriment not only to the victim themselves but also it can reach out beyond to others who are influenced by their relationships with the victim. For example, a parent dating a predator will have an effect with the relationship they have with their children, a boss influenced by a co-worker who is a predator or the other way around will effect the work place and the people around. A person in power who takes advantage of their position miss using people as volunteers will hurt all those who are related to the volunteers etc........"

"The point, Ana, that I am making is that you need to be aware of the relationships in your life that are influencing you and your family. If someone is trying to separate the bonds that you have with others or manipulate you to do something you don't want to do, then you are probable in contact with an emotional predator."

I thought about what she had said and knew that I had met a few emotional predators in my life and had just escaped one recently. I realized that we do need to make sure that we are making healthy choices and following our intuition. When we feel something is wrong, something probably is wrong. God gave us that gut feeling not to annoy us but to tell us something.

Even if you don't care about yourself, please think about all the lives that you touch.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Fatal Attraction

I think what brings to the mind when we think of "Fatal Attraction" is the movie that coined that phrase. Having someone who is emotional unstable stalking someone who has no desire to be with that person seems to be what we all think of. But there is another type of fatal attraction that we might miss that plays a large part in the human experience.

This type of fatal attraction is apart of the lives for those who carry old wounds and emotional baggage from the past. Here is the deal, very few of us are even conscious that we carry it but go ask family and friends and they seem very aware of it.

Because people are often unaware that they carry this pain which attracts others in the some existence who in tern helps perpetuate the unconscious behavior. Then the relationship takes a spiraling down plunge as it attracts and infects others who come in contact with the dysfunctional behavior.

Have you ever heard of the expression that, "misery loves company"? Now take a relationship with the backgrounds of two different types of painful baggage and you will git a reaction. Either they will feed the needs of being miserable or there will be an explosion. These relationships will find ways to grow with its pain by anger, drama, gossip and fighting which if it gets out of hand can also lead to physical violence.

Relationships in this category include, marriage, family, business, churches, sports, friends, schools, PTA, and many other groups that people come in contact with each other. It is really apart of our society that we pretend that we don't see as it still affects so many in our culture.

I was once told by someone that, "people who are hurt will often hurt others". Why do I tell you this you ask? Because unless we become aware of our own baggage then we will attract or be attracted to situations and others who are semiotic in emotional pain and the cycle will continue.

If you have dark memories of your parents fighting and even if they made up, you have already witnessed as a small child this pain threshold in relationships that feeds on each other. If you become aware of someone you work with, who is always looking for high drama then again you are most likely witnessing another example of someone who searches relationships in need of feeding the pain they carry inside.

Please understand that many are addicted to this high drama and dysfunctional relationships as it fuels the hunger of the painful baggage that is carried by an individual. If you become aware of someone who is displaying this type of behavior then you need to remove or distance yourself form that relationship. Chances are high that, that person has no clue that they are doing that and if you see it in yourself, then you need to work on changing it so that you don't continue to bring pain to yourself and others...

Blessings, Ana

Monday, January 12, 2009

A Recipe for Healing

I was visiting with a friend this past weekend who asked me after coming out of a bad relationship this last summer, why she was still having nightmares. She explained that she had realized that the relationship was abusive and that she knew she needed to get her children and herself out of the situation.

What surprised her the most, was that after months of working on her recovery and coming to terms with the mind games and verbal abuse in her mind, she was still being haunted by nightmares. "I don't understand it," she said, "I know that my decision was right and I have even found a place in my heart to forgive him but the dreams wake me up and I am up for hours." "Can you tell me what I am doing wrong?"

As she was talking to me I was reminded of what my teachers had taught me about balancing the mind, body and soul so I began to explain how we as humans need the balance in our lives for feeling whole.

What I am finding is that when we are dealing with trauma in our lives it can be really hard to let go. It is often hard to forgive others as it is to forgive ourselves for allowing that to happen to us.

You have already done the first step of recovery which is recognizing it for what it was and removing you and your family from the situation. That is the hardest of them all.......So many people will stay in an abusive relationship or environment their whole lives.

Next, is working on balancing yourself in the matters of the mind, body and soul. OK, Let's say for now that your mind understands why you are feeling certain ways about what happened to you. That is a big deal.... Not many people are aware of why they are in pain. This is why they have groups and workshops to help people identify mentally what is happening to them.

But people are still susceptible to relapse and returning to their old ways because they still have to heal in the body and soul. Remember that your body is recording everything in it's "cell memory". This is what causes "old tapes" to be triggered by a conversation, seeing someone or by doing something that would bring it back to the unconscious mind.

OK, here to, the soul also records the experience in the energy that connects the body and soul together. That is why if you get too close to someone that is very intuitive they can read your history. The body and soul must be reunited with the mind in order to allow healing to be affective.

What you are experiencing when you sleep are the "old tapes" that are still recorded in the body and soul that come out of your unconscious. No, nothing is wrong with you. You are just human like the rest of us. The trash is being taken out and the only way the body and soul know how to do it, is to release it when you are asleep and the conscious mind is off.

Of course this is disturbing but it is only a signal form that part of you telling you that you still have to deal with something. You still have work to do......
OK, with that in mind you have to now decide what will help you bring yourself back into balance.

An Example..... would be of someone who is sexually abused may have gained a lot of weight for protection so that by losing the weight they are consciously changing something that they may associate themselves with the trauma. They are learning to reprogram themselves from victim to someone who in in charge of their bodies.... they might also take a martial arts class to bring back personal power in protecting themselves. Diet, exorcise, or any kind of body work helps bring the body back into balance and by being conscious will help connect the change to the soul and mind .

Last is the soul and this is discovering what is inside. It is learning what you are all about. No one can tell you. You have to do the work because it is so personal.

Now, think about this.... The reason that we are attracted to some relationships that the dynamics are dysfunctional is because we need to work out something on the soul level. Often these relationships attracts us because we carried something over from our past or childhood that we still need to work out. We will continue to have this pattern until we change it.

Work of the soul is learning how to listen to yourself and to the Creator for guidance. It can be through learning how to do meditation, energy work, prayer, sound healing or even expressing yourself through art and color etc.... But it is all about learning to connect to the soul and finding where your roots began and end.

So what it boils down to, is that even after counseling or classes that educate on the cause. There is still work to do on the body and soul of bringing the self back together as a whole.

We as human beings are such amazing beings that are so complexed yet each one of us are designed in our own unique way. We just need to remember that what happens to us in life and how we learn to work on healing ourselves allows us to reach out to others.

Blessings, Ana

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Contradictions of the Heart

I don't know if you have ever noticed but our words and actions will often betray the secrets of our own hearts. I call this a contradiction of the heart.

One of my teachers brought this to our attention at a class one day. He mentioned that we often betray ourselves by saying one thing and our body language says another. For example, if someone is telling you, yes they did something but their head is shaking from side to side as in no, chances are they are not telling you all the facts.

As I became more aware of this, I realized that we all seem to have this little habit. I also started to listen to the words that were coming out of my own mouth. You may think this is funny because we believe we are all in control of our words but often when we are speaking, our own words will betray our true feelings. Then the phrases that follow are, Oh I was only kidding, or I never meant to say that become part of our language.

What I have found is that when people are unconscious they speak from their hearts and when they realize that they have just shared something to personal they change their point, influenced by some sort of fear they carry. This presents its self as a duel personality. Split by wanting to do something but for some reason not following pursuit.

So what does all this mean? An unbalance in the soul, mind and body. As you become familiar with your own words and actions, you begin to see it so clearly when you listen to yourself and others as we move in and out of consciousness.

Emotions, longings, missed opportunities and regrets start to show up in our speech and actions. Others around you often pick up what you hide from yourself and are afraid to see or face.......

This reminds me of the story of the, "The Emperor and the New Clothes". Everyone around the Emperor knows that he is nude but no one will say it including the Emperor himself...... Who is the only one who can change the whole situation.

I am not saying run out and tell people that they are wrong. All I am saying is that by being aware of what our own actions and words are trying telling us, we are given the keys of understanding what is inside our souls. For it is all about tunning into ourselves that we can start to balance ourselves again.

Blessings, Ana

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Path of Silence

As I was sitting in a mandatory meeting one day, a thought formed in my head as I realized just how big the Creator of the universe really was. The thought was sparked by the discussion in the room about people and the politics that were going on.

I remember thinking of a conversation I had awhile ago with a dear friend who I visited as she was recovering from an illness. The first thing out of her mouth when she saw me was, "What happened to you?" " You look sick!" "I am fine", I said, as huge tears rolled off my cheek.

"Ana, you can't fool me, I see that the color around you has turned a pale gray which is cloudy and your eyes tell me you are struggling with yourself inside." " What's up?" This was not my intention at all, I had come to cheer her up but I could see by her expression that I wasn't getting off the hook that easy.

I told her that I had taken my job because I wanted to help people but instead found the ugly politics of religion. What was worse, I found that I was starting to lose myself in it. I was changing into someone that I didn't like.

She stared into space for a moment and then she spoke. "Ana, what you are searching for is not only found in the four walls of the church that you work in." The energy of life and creation of the Creator is found in all things in this world and beyond."

"You are limiting your faith and yourself by looking though a magnifying glass.
Put it down and look around you." "By closing yourself off to this one part of your life, you are trying to fit it all in a box." "Politics happen when there is fear and the resources are short." "Look beyond yourself and the box that you have closed yourself in."

I looked in her large green emerald eyes as they smiled back at me and I asked for a hug. "Thank you," I said, "I have much to think about." I could tell that she was getting tired so I said my goodbye and left.

I wish I could tell you that I was smart enough to take her advise to remove myself form that position, but I wasn't. It was a year and a half later that you could say that, "I began to see the light."

As I sat there at the meeting on that day, her words drifted though my head. I realized that I was miserable and felt caught inside the politics of what others outside the room had no clue of. It was time to see what else was beyond the four walls that I had now limited myself to. My friend had assured me on that day that the resources were out there. It was time to make a move.

Looking back I think of how many of us are unhappy in our lives but are afraid to change things, thinking that if we do, it might be worse than what we are doing now. So we stay and fight others who are in that same frame of mind for recourses that are really abundant to all of us.

I am not saying that change is all physical because it is even more effective when it occurs inside, as we see ourselves in others. But sometimes it takes the action of stepping back and removing ourselves from a situation so we can see the habit or dependence of a situation that creates chaos in our lives.

Seeing now, with different eyes I have discovered that my experience was rich in teaching me about myself and my own behaviors. I have discovered my weakness and my strengths as I am beginning to understand the possibilities of falling. As I continue on my path in life, I have discovered the recourses are truly abundant.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Healing Reciepe

True healing only happens within ourselves as we discover that we have the power to change. I must admit that for years I never understood this but as I grow older I am aware that I am the one who holds myself captive. It is though balancing our lives again that the healing of self can really begin.

Remember that phrase "Free will", well, it is all up to us. I am not saying that we don't need the help of the Creator but it is our agreement to change that moves the blocks in our lives.

If we can remember in our too busy lives just how complex we are as human beings then we might take a little time to understand that healing is a balance of the body, mind and soul that connects us all. As we were created in the image of God we should celebrate just how special we are.

Of course healing is really a verb which is action word. It means just that, that we take action in our own lives and if we can not then we ask for help either form the divine or someone else.

I would like to talk a little about our bodies.....which I just find fascinating in of themselves. The whole antoymaity and chemistry alone make it a wonder. The care of our bodies is as you have heard all of your lives so important that I wont lecture.

We need to eat, excersize and love ourselves in the physical sense. By doing that without comparison and judgments of others we move into a healthier state of being.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Soul Sickness

I am finding that my own experiences plays a big part of my learning and without all the bumps and bruises, I would never understand the full meaning of my own life.

I say this because one of my dearest friends invited me over for lunch the other day and I brought up my feelings about the new Healing group that we were in. I was comparing the groups ability to work with each other to the one that I had left in my previous work position.

"I don't understand it," I said," we all had the same goals yet we were all in such misery," I could see by her silence and her expression she was thinking on how to explain something. Then she asked me why I left......

"Oh, that was easy," as I gave her a metaphor....... "It was like I was standing in a courtyard with the other people and we were all looking at our shoes the whole time. And I was happy until one day I looked up and saw that there was a world out there other than our shoes. "

"I looked around but there seemed to be only a few of us looking up. I tried to put my head down and look at my shoes again but was very discontented with this activity so I started to talk about what I saw only making the others uncomfortable. I found myself becoming angry because I was making myself conform to what the others were doing but knowing in my heart that I wanted to look up and see."

"Talk about splitting in two." "I guess this is what you call, soul sickness." "Good", she said, "That means that when you looked up you started to be aware." "What happened next?" "Besides making myself and everyone around me miserable?," I said. "I left and tried to be alone which didn't last long, so that is why I am in this group."

"Let me explain something," she said, "which may help." There are different forms of consciousness and I know of three them." "They are mass, individual and group." "You will find that all three play into a big part of our learning."

"You ever hear of Mass Hysteria?" "You see, it is a very primitive form of human consciousness. In this state people are only influenced by what the whole mass is doing. If the mass is in a panic then everyone is in a panic and so on. Basically it boils down to is that the individual is not understood as it is a consciousness with only conformity. "

"Now the Individual Conscious occurs when the person discovers they are different and want to be separate from the Mass. Only this can cause problems as we were made and connected to each other. Ever hear of Hermits or Loners? By being in this state you disconnect with all your relations and the people who love you."

"The last is the Group Consciousness and this seems to be what you are referring to as the Healing group. And that is that we all seek the same goal but celebrate what each brings to the table as an individual. There is no form of competition because we all agree that everyone has a different view and a right to say what is on their hearts. We are all teachers as we are all students."

"As far as the group staying that way, is really up to the members. Only time will tell..." I finished my lunch and thanked her as I ran out the door to my next appointment. The drive was long but beautiful as I was thankful for all the people that God had brought into my life.


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Conversations with the Heart

There are times in our lives when memories come up that are still attached to emotions that we carry in our hearts. You can often see this on the faces of others when they are recalling a story in their past. Emotions such as love, pain, anger and fear are the strongest when this appears.

I remember one time when I was taking art classes in college. I was walking though a different part of the art department and I caught the smell of oil paint which took me completely off guard. It was like being tackled in a football game that knocks the wind out of you. For a few seconds I was knocked out of myself and transported back to a childhood memory of running around my father's studio.

There was no sense of control for I was moved out of one state of being into another for only a few seconds with a single smell. A whole movie played in my head and the emotions of love and contentment filled me up. As I stood there blinking and getting my bearings I began to miss my dad. I was in my early 20's when this happened.

It was much later, as I began to mature that this one experience allowed me to see how strong a past memory can be and how it can effect our lives in healing. You may be familiar with the term "Old Tapes" which I know is used to describe old memories that somehow effect our lives.

Most of the time it is in reference to a behavior that we have been conditioned to form our past. Often it can be triggered by something and the emotions attached can be very strong. The clearest examples are people who have been in wars or suffered some sort of trauma. But these experiences are not unique to only a few. We as human beings share this and I guess you can say, it is what makes us all very human.

Understanding who we are inside and what are our triggers, are really the first steps in changing our lives. Now remember that the experience I shared was strong but it was positive, so know that a negative experience can be almost devastating if it comes in with that amount of strength.

It is important to be conscious that all of us are different in how we experience things in life. Know to that if you have not suffered something as traumatic as war, your body may record an experience with the same amount of painful emotions as someone who did. It is how the Creator made you as a unique individual.

One person can walk away form something and not be affected where as another person may fall apart. It is all how we perceive things. We can't judge ourselves or others by comparison.

Please understand to, that by growing up in the art world I might see things a little differently. So one of the things I started to notice was the wonderful symbols that surround our lives. Thank about it, we have art, writing, people, clothes, companies and products just to name a few. Symbols are all around us. All of these things in our lives represent some sort of personal status that we attach to them. Whether we are conscious or unconscious we believe in these things.

All of this reminded me of a movie I saw as a young adult, as the kid in the movie was chasing Vampires and holds up a cross. The line that gets me is the Vampire looks at the kid and says, " It wont work" the kid says, "why not", and the Vampire says "because you don't believe." Wow, I realized then, that it is though our faith of what these symbols represent to us, that give them power.

Wondering where I am going..... here is the thought. When these experiences in life pop up unexpectedly you can use a symbol that you believe in. An example can be the cross or whatever you believe in to stand between you and the memory. It doesn't matter what it is as long as you believe. This is personal and between you and the Creator.

Once you place the symbol of your choice in the gap, then try to remember that what you are experiencing is only a memory and you are safe. All the emotions and images that are attached to it are on the other side of your symbol. It is by being conscious of that, you can decide to examine the situation with or without emotions or ask for it to leave when you are ready. You are taking back your control with these conversations of the heart.

Traumatic memories keep coming up because the experience is unfinished business recorded in your heart which can be triggered by something around you. The symbol is only a tool to fill in the gap to help you revisit it when you are ready.

A professional Councilor or Psychologist can help to, if you need assistance. You just have to ask. The biggest part about healing is knowing that it all begins within you.


Monday, January 5, 2009

Consciousness of the Soul

As I started to become more aware I begin to noticed that some of the people around me often identify themselves with pain, and suffering. And the fear of losing that, was the underlying fear of being left with nothing. This brought me back to a conscious evaluation of myself and my own personal motivations.

You see that what seems to annoy us the most in others are the things that others see in us. And it was at the place that I was working at the time, that pain and suffering were considered a virtue. At the time, I discovered on a level of being unconscious the need to condition myself to fit into that matter of logic.

The whole irony of the situation was that I was completely annoyed with the behaviours of the others around me but found myself trying to immerse myself in the pursuit of personal growth only to be knocked down by my own fears.

It wasn't until I finally realized that the virtues that I was seeking were not leading me down the path toward my goals of personal growth, that I decided to put an end to the insanity. Unfortunately for me, I had become attached to the people around me who shared the same experience, yet seemed somewhat disturbed and restless at the same time.

This made leaving extremely painful as my heart seemed to be ripped from my soul. My mind begin to analysis the situation to find solutions to return but my soul had called it quits. It was time to move on and becoming aware only added to my misery. I have often thought that being unaware was the answer to being happy but it is our souls that always knows the whole truth.

As I removed myself from the situation, I began to heal. I learned to, that by being unconscious in my own actions I had brought the fear, pain and suffering upon myself. I discovered that God had given me the power to release myself from the bondage I created for myself. The only chains that held me down were the ones that I put on myself willingly. I found that I was then given an opportunity to look upon the situation I was released from and learn.

As I am learning, I am discovering that being aware and conscious is being responsible for ourselves. Also that our actions toward others and toward ourselves must be held accountable as we move in our own experience.


Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Legend of Archetypes

My mentor, and now one of my dearest friends, introduced me to the whole concept of Archetypes and role playing. I thought she was talking about a game, thinking that it kind of ran in the lines of "Dungeons and Dragons". When she first mentioned it, I thought, great...., that is something that really doesn't interest me. Lucky for me that she knows that I am a little hard headed.

"No," she said, "that is not what it is about at all." Then she went on to explain that in life we as humans take on roles that fit our needs or have been conditioned to do and play them out. Ever heard the saying that, "All the world is a stage?" Well, that is where it comes from. "OK", I said, " I get it, I am a mom, sister, aunt, wife, and friend along with my job title, etc."

One of the things I love most about my mentor is that patience is one of her virtues. She always gets this look on her face that freezes for a moment and then she says something like, "OK, that is close but not really it."

There is a lot more to Archetypes than just those roles. Archetypes were introduced by Carl Jung, who discovered that they really represented the different psychological roles that we play in life. For example, you might know someone who always plays the victim. No, matter what happens it is never their fault.

Here is another, the Mediator, you might know someone who is always in the middle of things and wants to help. Or I am sure you have heard of Hermit, Detective, Gossip, Clown, Samaritan, Teacher, Servant, Rebel, Hero, Student, Athlete, Avenger, Bully, Damsel, Martyr and Mentor and the list goes on. There are hundreds more and you are welcome to look this up if you are really interested.

OK, this did spark my interests a little and so I started to investigate. I asked one of my friends who is a professional Psychologist about it and she said, "yes, they study that in school." Wow, I didn't know...... This made me more aware of who I was and the people around me. I noticed that people are not always aware of it, but it was very prevalent in our speech and actions. Of course this made me more self conscious of what was coming out of my own mouth and actions.

Now, this is not a bad thing but understand that each and everyone of us seem to have these attributes. There are good and bad to each Archetype and we find the ones that fit us to get on in this world. I was talking to a lady and she was really upset with herself, she kept telling me that no matter what she did she would somehow find a way to sabotage herself. "The Saboteur." Of course by having this knowledge and being aware of this she could empower herself to change. Listen to what comes out of your own mouth.

Ever hear of the saying, "I sold myself short?" "I gave myself away?" Does Prostitute ring a bell? We all do it at one time or another give ourselves until we are bone dry. It is just a matter of being aware and turning it around to the positive. This teaches us not to give huge chunks of our being to others. By recognizing it in ourselves we are saying, "No, I won't allow this," and even stepping back to give ourselves a break because we are human.

Artist is another one and there are negative sides to that one such as being too eccentric, but it is the positive that needs to be focused on for change. Princess is one that I have heard of often. You even see this in movies like "Private Benjamen." You might work with someone who is one or be one yourself. It is not bad to be a princess, but don't use your power to hurt and control others. If you think about it, a princess can do a lot when they focus on the good. Just look what Princess Diana did.

Some Archetypes really stand out among others like Vampires, Addicts, Healers, Judge, Priest, Misers and Poets who are the Rock and Roll stars of the world.

Have fun with it and know that we are the only ones who can change something in ourselves. It is about looking at the world with eyes of understanding and appreciating what we see in ourselves and others.


Saturday, January 3, 2009

Vibrations of Sound

I have often wondered, if people are aware, that the resonance of our voices can not only bring us in union with our mind, soul and body, but also to everything else through its vibration. It seems to be a gift that all of us take for granted and most of us are not even aware that it exists. Sure we use our words to express ourselves in opinions or ideas. But we forget about the true vibration of sounds that also plays a big part in connecting us to everyone and everything else around us.

I first became aware of this when I was 19 and was visiting a Convent when I was on a mission trip with a friend who was Catholic. I had always loved to sing and had been in choirs and taken voice growing up. But it wasn't until this one experience that I truly realized that there was something else to it then just putting it all together.

I recall we were woken up early to go to a morning Mass and the Nuns sat on one side and the Priests on the other. It was so early, yet there we were sitting in the cold of the chapel and when they opened their mouths to sing there was something that words can't describe in their passion to praise God.

I remember my heart swelling up and not being able to see as the tears fell on my hymnal. A flow of energy burst though my body as love came crashing in though every pore. My head became light and my breath was caught in my throat as I tried to choke out the words. Then as I brought myself back together my voice blended in unison as the notes vibrated though my whole being. It was something I never forgot.

I bring this up because a year ago I was working with a teacher who was a Mediation Coach. I had been stressed out with the work I was doing associated with my job at the time and was looking for something to help. A good friend suggested I learn how to Meditate. The teacher came highly recommended so I contacted her and started to attend class.

Meditation as everyone knows is about being quite and finding your center or so I thought. It was somewhere in the middle of the classes that she decided to take us to the next level and that was using the voice to chant. OK, I thought, I watch TV and I have seen the Tibetan Monks chanting so this must be something like that. I will try anything to distress.....

She taught us about the seven centers in our body that respond to the vibration in our voice and with our focus on that area could connect us to opening up those places that were blocked with stress. This made since because I was already learning Qigong and I had a little knowledge of this concept. OK, I got it.

She gave us one word to match each center that we were to chant over and over until she cued us to the next one. Then she lead us into the chant. At first I was just trying to match her tone and get the chant right as I tried to focus on the area of the body she asked us to start with.

It was awkward and as we repeated the chant it finely started to flow. As it did I started to noticed a warm rush of energy moving though my body and it felt like it was spinning in the area that I was focusing on. It felt warm and soothing as I started to lose myself in the moment.

She switched to the next chant as the chant's vibration moved up the body to each center. It wasn't until we reached the very last one at the top of the head that I felt an explosion of energy and release. It was then that I began to cry like a baby as the tears flowed out of my eyes like a fountain. Embarrassed I tried to recover what dignity I had left but my body had other plans as it released all the tension that I had been hording.

The whole experience was powerful and I went home limp but recovered by the next few days with a renewed sense of passion for life again. At the time I was singing with my daughter in a little band at our church and as we were singing I noticed that I started to open up as we performed.

I noticed that I was not only more conscious of what was happening inside of me but also felt a connection to something much bigger than myself. I felt this union of being connected again with the great Creator Himself and all that he had created as the air pushed out from my belly and moved though to my heart. It was through my experience that I had learned to open up and let the breath of God pour into my whole being as I raised my voice.

It was just before the Christmas holidays that I met my new friend for lunch and she shared almost the exact experience. For me it was another conformation that again life has so much more to offer than what we see.

Peace be with you,

Friday, January 2, 2009

Language of the Body

Did you know that the body has it's own language and I am not talking about the language you see outside the body but inside? Yes, it does and each organ has its own sound that it makes when it is healthy and functioning properly.

Think about this..... you have a beautiful symphony playing inside your body when you are in the perfect health. When you are ill your body would be like striking a key on the piano that is out of tune. Each and everyone of your major organs has its own sound which includes your brain, heart, lungs, liver, spleen, and stomach just to name a few.

It was the ancients who had first discovered this and knew that illness would be prevalent when the body was out of tune. By knowing this they also learned that energy which they called Chi could be used when chanting and directed with focus toward the organ would also bring healing to that part of the body.
It kind of reminds me of fine tuning a beautiful interment before you play.

A year ago I had the privilege of studying with a teacher who taught the art of Qigong. It is a form of martial art that focuses on healing and energy of the body. The whole experience was enlightening, if you ever get the chance to try it. I think it was the first time in my life that I learned to really focus and tune into my own body with an appreciation of how I was put together.

This past holiday I got to watch a movie called "Australia" and loved it. I especially liked the part of the Aborigine child who said that, "I will sing you to me". To me, it touched my heart because inside we each carry our own song of love and healing. It is all there, we just have to take the time to listen. As we learn more about ourselves and tune into our own hearts life becomes more than just an average day but a true experience of wonder.


Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Divided Selves

This is the time of the year that most of us often reflect on ourselves and look at what we want the new year to be. Often we start with new resolutions and plans to change the old habits. As we move through this process it is good to remember that we, as beings, are divided into the three selves of mind, body and soul.

So often we forget that bringing these three into balance is the key to having the success in bringing our personal goals into focus. As we reflect we can see that our soul calls to the mind, which sets the goals, and the body follows in pursuit of action.

The first time I personally became aware of the division of the three, was in a time of grieving. I discovered that my mind knew that the person I had lost was in a much better place away from pain and illness. It was my body, in the form of my heart, that picked up the grief and loss. Tears flowed out beyond my own control of missing the person and feeling alone.

I think it was a month later that I was driving home from buying groceries. I was sitting at a stop sign, when I felt an overwhelming sensation of presence of the person who passed. It was so strong, and the love that I felt at that moment was instant recognition of that person's soul who I had lost.

I guess you could describe it when you greatly love someone you hadn't seen in a long time. They walk into the room, and our heart swells up with joy of being together again. It only lasted for a few seconds, but the experience was huge and the knowing that that person's energy was all around me at the time never left me.

I realized for the first time that it was my soul that knew before my body and mind that something incredible had happened.

It was a few years later when I decided that I needed to lose a few pounds. I discovered that I could make a decision with my mind to lose the weight but if my heart and soul were not in it I was lost. Once this was established, my body was ready for the change and followed in action to success. It was all about making sure that the three were balanced and on the same plan.

There are times in our busy schedules, when we don't take the time to check to see if we are in balance, and wonder why we are not able to keep the goals we set for ourselves. The way God created us is beyond anything we could ever imagine, but it only takes a few minutes to stop and check to see if we are in line. So often we take better care of our possessions and others than we do ourselves.

So when something is not working give yourself a break, be gentle with yourself, and take a little time to do a self check to see where you are. And please know that you are a miracle in itself, just as you are.

Enjoy the New Year!