Being Blindsided

I think one of the hardest things to do is to staying calm, and assess what is really happening when verbal, or emotional energy is being flung your way. In most situations I find that we react instinctively as our own emotions are triggered from being hit without warning in response. Most often we immediately become defensive from being blindsided as there seems to be no time to think, or reason what is truly going on. From this perspective it is only about the other person attacking, and countered with a defense, or another attack. What fallows suit is a dispute that continues to perpetuate the situation whither it involves the other person, or not.

Later when it is over, and there is time to look back on the situation other options seem to make themselves more apparent in responding to the emotional, or verbal attack. This is when we wonder if the whole incident was even worth engaging in battle. What I find intriguing is that if you really take the time to look at what is being flung most of the time it has nothing to do with you at all, or what you are doing.  As I continue to observe others, and even myself I see that emotional triggers seem to go on, and off without the a conscious awareness of what is really happening. In most cases we are caught, or we sweep others up into the emotional baggage that we all carry around with us.

If you are in a situation, and feel that you have been blindsided I suggest that to make a conscious decision to really take a moment to look at what is being thrown your way. As you take the time to pause separating yourself from the emotional response you may find that it has nothing to do with you. You just happen to be in the way when the other person's trigger is going off. In those cases the best way to react is to remove yourself from the situation, and remind yourself that the other person is trying to work it out in their own time. I am not going to tell you that it is easy, but being aware is key in learning patterns that run in ourselves, each other, and in our families.